Call Me

An out of character song for Shinedown, but a song that somehow seems very apt for me right now. You gotta love those moments in the shower when iTunes decides to speak to you!


So here it is: "Call Me" by Shinedown. Enjoy!

An Open Goodbye

Dear Sunshine,

I know how much you detest these open shows of affection, but perhaps you can forgive me this one last time. I don't really know where to start. How do I begin to express the feelings I'm going through right now, without sounding unbelievably corny? And I know how much you pretended to hate my corny lines. Oh, how you embarrassed me with them! But I knew that inside your devil-may-care exterior was one of the biggest hearts I have known.

It's barely been 24 hours since you said goodbye, and already things seem different. It's unbelievable what an impact you have had on my life, and now that you are gone I see it more than ever. Still, it was the right decision. We both knew this would end - you always were a level-headed girl, and we both knew that long distance relationships just don't work. Yet, we tried. It was too difficult to let go of what we had, especially since it was for such a short time.

I don't think either of us can even begin to imagine how magical this could have been. The possibilities, had we met at another time and place - it just rips my mind. But all we have is here, and now, and that's why this is goodbye. Of all the things I have had to let go in life, this is by far one of the hardest.

I look back at our postcard-type memories and I struggle to convince myself it was all real. In a time of continuous struggle and heartbreak, you were the one sole ray of joy that invaded the darkness of my life. I know you have always felt like you were in the shadows of my previous relationships, especially considering how long and serious they were. You and I had just a few months together, precious few months. But one thing is for sure - while I have always held regrets over certain actions in my past relationships, the memory of ours will forever be untainted.

I miss you already. Heck, I missed you 5 seconds after you said it was over.

You will still be my closest ally - a true member of the Darkside! I know that you will always be there for me when I need you, and I promise to do the same for you with all my strength. Thank you for making me a better man; what more can I ask for in a girl?

I had picked this song to sing before this happened, but now it seems eerily appropriate. I hope you find the time to listen to it.

Till we meet again,

Yours, always,


G

Click here to download the audio.

Welcome To The Darkside

I'm sure that while getting here, at some point or the other your brain would have registered the fact that this blog is titled "Darkside Daily". Next, your brain notices the black and white layout, the dark clouds etc. Then you may or may not notice the profile picture, the little black Batman-in-shadows picture. Then, through no fault of its own, your brain proceeds to 'deduce'. "Aha!", your brain tells you, "this guy sounds evil! I bet he's a tall skinny guy, with an evil countenance, a hip flask and a total badass attitude! He probably wears only black, has a ponytail and a beard, listens to Pantera and rides a black motorcyle with a flaming skull insignia on it!" And so you start reading, with the expectation that the content of the blog will reflect this mental image that your brain has so astutely assembled for you.

But wait? Christian music? A post about love? Videos of a headless piano player??

So then you set about writing comments about how I am some sort of charlatan for duping you into this little misconception, but really, is that my fault? Isn't it possible that I have a form of deep psychological issue wherein the colour black makes me feel 'whole again'? Perhaps other colours in the spectrum remind me of some traumatic kindergarten incident involving crayons??

Alright, perhaps I am stretching it a bit. Either way, I think it's time I explained the Darkside movement. Many moons ago, I wrote a post about my reason for blogging. However, I don't think I've ever mentioned where the whole 'Darkside' came from.

That story starts in India, when I went to join university. The place where I was studying was basically a student city, as it was filled with various different colleges and offered various programmes from engineering to medicine to hotel management and even - wait for it - jewellery management (don't ask). The two largest campuses belonged to the medicine and engineering colleges, which were often at odds with each other. The church I went to consisted of mainly medical students, and there was a friendly (and sometimes not so friendly) rivalry between the medical and engineering students.

You see, the medical students were considered to be intellectual book worms that spent long hours either in the hospital or in the library, speaking a language that could not possibly be English. Most of them were rich, and a large percentage were Indians who had lived in America all their life, thus turning them into identity confused individuals with loads of cash and annoying accents. Besides, being a medical student also entitled you to certain rights, such as the use of the 'doctor' aura which is accepted around the world as a way to walk with your nose a little higher and also entitles you to free parking. And don't get me started on their lab coats!

The engineering students on the other hand were different. They were generally not so affluent, neither were they as sophisticated as their medical counterparts. Instead they were into fighting, partying, smoking weed, blasting loud hindi music, cutting class, cheating on exams and generally being total idiots. Good natured, intelligent, practical idiots, but idiots nonetheless. Add to the fact that the engineering campus was considered to be somewhat alien territory to the medical students, and you may see where I'm going with this.

So among my church going friends, I was a bit of an outcast to begin with. I had subjects none of them had heard of, was involved in activities and labs that none of them could relate to and I had absolutely no understanding of any medical jargon they happened to use in conversation with me. However, instead of feeling alienated, I somehow revelled in being different. I'm not usually the kind of person that likes to stand out in a crowd, but for some reason, I enjoyed the aura of mystery and wrong-doing that was handed to me simply because I was an engineer. Engineers just handled problems differently, and whenever I mentioned an alternate solution they would say "Oh, that would only work in the Darkside...!"

Society celebrates people that speak their mind, but there is a subtle catch. When I look around, I find that the people that are 'outspoken' are all saying exactly the same thing; so really, what is the point? It has almost become fashionable to be cynical about everything under the sun while at the same time we are ruthlessly tolerant about other things. Yes, apparently being part of the 'minority' is also fashionable! We like to label ourselves as people that 'call it as it is' but really, is being a total jackass part of the job description? Having a hope for the future or for the present is just a bit too 'Dave Matthews' and not enough 'Dave Navarro' for us, so we turn into these venom-spitting 'rebels' that believe in values simply because it's the 'in' thing.

Being part of the Darkside doesn't mean you're against everything from celebrities to celibacy for the sake of image. I call it the way I see it too, but I'm not an idiot about it. When my medical student friends complained about the lack of preparation time before an exam, I used to suggest selective study and writing long elaborate answers to confuse the examiners; I didn't suggest burning down the exam hall and parading naked in the streets in protest against examinations.

Bottom line: it's time to change the world. But perhaps, it's also time we change the way we 'change the world'.

Leave Out All The Rest

As tempted as I was to write a stinker of a post to defend the Darkside, I was forced to put that on hold when I was struck by inspiration at the keyboard. It was late, and I was just messing around, so this video may not be of stellar quality, but I quite like it if I do say so myself. As I told a fellow blogger, these headless videos of mine aren't audition tapes for American Idol, so it doesn't matter that much to me. But if you're a musician or a singer, you'll understand the need and desire to perform in front of an audience, not necessarily for their approval but rather for the sake of your own release.


I hope you like it; it is my own rendition, but I hope it still retains something from the original.


Cheers!


G


Click here to download the song.

Linkin Park - Leave Out All The Rest

EDIT: I've redone this cover and added it on youtube here. To download the new version, just click here.

Music And Lyrics

Growing up in Sri Lanka, it was only hip-hop music. We had a friend who used to listen to Metallica and Nirvana back in the early 90's, and we used to label him a freak (he is now the lead singer of one of our leading metal bands, but anyway). After heading to India though I was introduced to modern rock, right about the time mainstream rock was undergoing a revival of sorts. Over the last few years I may have sort of lost touch with the hip hop scene, but I am rapidly making amends.


Recently I discovered this song by Sage Francis, which is beautiful in its lyrical content, but is made even better by this video I found for it on Youtube.








Another song which I stumbled upon is "Dreamin' " by Young Jeezy featuring Keyshia Cole. It's an old song, but certain parts of it stood out for me.

Moms smokin rocks same shit im sellin
So who's wrong her or me
She addicted to tha high im addicted to tha cash
Almost put my hands on here when i caught her in my stash
How could i do her like dat lord knows im wrong
Why would i do her like dat lord know she strong
I kno its been hard but we made it baby
10 years clean so she still my lady i must be dreamin

--------


There's two types of niggas : predator and prey
I'm a predator, I pray three times a day
Mat Lue once said one day you'll have kids
And how you gon' explain all that shit you did?
I'm a soul survivor, far from a crook
She always said I was a lot smarter than I look
So I took my dreams and I made it some thousands
Then I took my life and I made it an album, I must be dreamin'

I've often said I'm no poet, neither do I 'get it' half the time, but I definitely appreciate the lyrical genius one can find in song. These two are by no means the best examples of that, but it was something I felt like sharing.


One more courtesy Talib Kweli - "Around my way":

This is for my soldier niggaz looking in the mirror who
Sitting home scratching off serials eating cereal
The way we find a way to survive, shit is a miracle
We got mice in the crib and roaches in the toasters, rice in the fridge
Bread in the oven by the roaster
We be takin' gypsy cabs and chasin' 50 bags
They be laced with shitty swag and it really get me mad
The way we saluting flags, wrapping them around our heads
when niggaz ain't become American till 9/11
Feeling like you gotta sneak into heaven
When the reverend looking like a pimp and the pimp look like the reverend

And rounding it off with the late great 2Pac - Better Dayz:

I got a girl and I love her but she broke too and so am I

I can't take her to the place she wanna go to

So we argue and play fight all day and night

Making passionate love 'til the daylight

'Cos we about to be evicted, can't pay the rent

Guess it's time to see who really is your friend

Tell me you're pregnant and I'm amazed

So many blessings while we stressin', lookin' for them better days

What about you? Feel free to send it in.


Cheers!


G