My Reason For Blogging....!

When I set about writing this blog just a week ago, I honestly had no idea what I was doing. It was just something that appealed to me, and also provided an opportunity to 'vent'. Never did I imagine that just one week of writing would lead to: 1) a friend confessing that she believed I was a 'dim wit' all this time; 2) numerous lecturers regarding my joblessness and 3) an invitation to hook up with some girl, just to prevent me from writing anymore.


All in all, a satisfying first week, I must say! Who knows, at this rate I'll be receiving death threats in a month and, if I may paraphrase Turkish from the movie "Snatch", I'll probably need protection against 'ze Germans' in 6 weeks. Maybe I should take up that blind date after all...


Ah, dating. Yes, contrary to popular belief, I have dated. Yes, as in actually dated. Yes, dated girls. What do you mean, 'real girls'?!


Much is said about the mysterious workings of the dating game. Some say it was birthed in ancient Greece, as a sadistic and psychological torture experiment. Others say that its foundations are so obscure, it makes the Da Vinci code look like a fairy tale for toddlers. Centuries have passed, and yet there has always been some form of 'courtship' present in society, its rules of engagement subtly changing with the times like a hyper-active chameleon. Yes, cultural and social values have changed, and the rules of courtship have seamlessly adapted as well, almost as if there was an unseen hand that subtly re-wrote the text books, an evil shadow that one could only sense, and not touch.


Today it has evolved into a complex and convoluted science, filled with contradictory rules and regulations. Every step of the 'date' is fraught with danger, every little element subject to change with the slightest shift in the mood, every word and gesture holding the possibility for victory or humiliating defeat. For an accurate illustration, picture yourself playing a game of Russian Roulette. While riding a unicycle. On a tightrope. Over the Niagra Falls. Yes, that's about right.


Being a man, I am understandly lost when it comes to these things. We can take apart and put together a home computer with the greatest of ease, but we can never figure out what is going through our date's head at any given time. It's been said that man's search for alien lifeforms has been fueled simply by his desire to find something they could understand. Let me give an example. You're having dinner, when all of a sudden she brings up the 'ex-boyfriend'. Immediately, alarm bells start going off inside your head. It was a horrible breakup, she says. I see. She thought it was meant to be. Right. There are times she thinks about him. You start to wonder why NOW had to be one of those times. By then of course, the alarm bells have changed to Saran gas sirens and cries of 'Abandon ship!!'. But it's too late, because nothing you say or do in this situation will allow you to escape.


You: Yes, he was a real jerk wasnt he?
She: Well, he wasnt that bad, ok?! Who do you think you are??
(Ok , scratch that.)


You: Maybe he had his reasons, you know? Perhaps..
She: ARE YOU CALLING ME A LIAR?? DO YOU THINK I'M A B****?!
(Nope, thats definitely out.)


You: Some guys just suck.
She: Yeah, why do only weirdos ask me out?
(Great, and here you are on a date with her, what does that make you?! Scratch that!)


You: You'll be stronger after this! You're a confident and intelligent woman! You'll do better than him! Everything's going to be wonderful! (Attempted smile of encouragement)
She: [wow like, this guy is like, so totally gay!] Uh-huh. Right. Can you drop me home now?


All kidding aside, too much emphasis is put on dating nowadays. I firmly believe that you'll meet someone when you meet someone. And if you do, asking to spend more time with that person shouldn't amount to some kind of binding legal contract involving flowers, candy and fake smiles. Because if it does, the pressure and expectation is almost certain to lead to disaster.


And then these spurned and rejected lovers get all depressed, and start writing depressing notes and blogs, flooding the world with pathetic attempts at being deep and knowledgeable, and yet succeed only at being, well, pathetic.


Which forces other (jobless and dim-witted) people to start their own blog so that they can show them that hey, the world sucks, so what? It's all quite funny if you think about it.