Darkside Daily

Those of you that have read my blog over the past one and a half years probably know that the one constant complaint I've had all this while has been my inability to get a job. Despite the material this provides for posts like this and this, I was generally rather frustrated with the whole job hunt; so much so that I finally told myself that if I didn't get a job by January '10, I would pack my bags and become a travelling pianist.


Clearly the heavens could not withstand such a threat, and lo and behold - I am now employed!


It has all happened so quickly that I struggle to sort things out in my mind to blog about it. It's Sunday morning as I type this out, but I've scheduled it to publish roughly around the time I will be reporting to work on Monday. There wasn't much notice given, and as a result the last 3-4 days have been a whirlwind of packing, shopping, frantic phone calls and planning for my two week training in Ratmalana.


Yet, amidst all the confusion of the last few days, I have been trying to formulate this post in my head in such a way that it would best convey my feelings at this moment, but as I often say - I'm not really good with words.


Looking back at the 160+ posts I've written over the last 19 months, I am rather proud of this tiny achievement of mine. I never did much writing before this, but reading the host of positive comments I have received after my amateurish beginnings is an extremely humbling experience. As I mentioned in one of my first posts, this blog was started mainly out of boredom and an attempt to inject some humour in a rather serious blogosphere. Yet, over the last year or so, I have reluctantly displayed a rather morbid and brooding side of me that I usually hide rather successfully. Looking back at these posts I feel a sense of relief, because they now serve as a form of testament to the fact that I have, at long last, finally passed through all of that.


I look back at my first "headless video" back in December '08, and I think of how far I have come with it. "Dolphin's Cry" was my twenty eighth cover - twenty eighth! I am immensely proud of them, simply because it takes a lot of effort and courage to put my amateur skills out there for all to see. But then, without all the support from those videos, I doubt I would ever have even considered auditioning for Onstage '09, and if that had not happened I would have missed out on what was a truly memorable and absolutely fun experience! For that, I thank you all.


When I told one of my friends about my job, his immediate reaction was "oh so no more headless videos!". Such was suddenness of my job call-up that I hadn't even realised that yet. Indeed, as well-equipped as my employers claim to be, I very much doubt they have stray pianos lying around for me to use.


And so, it looks like this will be a rather sudden end to blogging for me. While I probably will find time to write a stray post here and there, I think that it will now shift from being a primary activity to merely something I can fit in if I can, especially since I don't have a desk job. Without a doubt though, there won't be any headless videos for a very, very long time. It's a rather sad decision to make, since I enjoyed it so very much. I had some nice cover ideas lined up, yet sadly they probably won't see the light of day now. As for blogging in general, in a way it makes sense to draw a distinct line right here and now.


So I bid you all farewell for now. No doubt I will probably write a post sooner rather than later, but I feel that there has been a subtle and yet fundamental shift in the Darkside. Things will always be a little different from here on in.


Keep up the good work, and always remember that there are two sides to every story...


Make sure you're on the Darkside.



Peace!



G



PS: I've included a link to all the mp3's of the covers I've done till now. The songs with the asterisk at the end have been edited and cleaned up a bit to remove some of the background noise in them (thanks to Fallen for that - I finally got around to doing it!). Enjoy!

Well, apparently they do.


As is often the case, I turn to the other keyboard when I struggle with writer's block. This time I've decided to experiment with one of my favourite 90's rock songs, and hopefully I've been able to do it justice. I had actually planned on doing this a long time ago, but never had the confidence to record it. As a result, this is probably one of my most worked-on covers, though you probably won't be able to tell from listening to it.


Once again I apologise for the poor video quality. If the dodgy quality and annoying auto-focus bothers you that much, feel free to donate a better quality camera to the Darkside. Christmas is just around the corner, so let's be generous people!


So without much further ado, here is "Dolphin's Cry" by Live. As always, you can find the original here, and to download the audio version of this cover just click here.

I have been called many things in my short stay on this earth. Thanks to my unconventionally spelt name, I've heard everything from Gyaan to Gay-haan to Gay-hen. Throw in my middle name and - oh wait, you don't know about that.

In an effort to clarify this, I consulted wikipedia. I mean, I'm a 24 year old adult male addicted to the internet, where else would I go, right? Well, Wikipedia states that a snob is - well it's pretty complex, and sounds like something a snob person with a more serious disposition would write about. Instead, my dictionary puts it more succintly - "a person who has an exaggerated respect for high social position or wealth and who looks down on those regarded as socially inferior".

Lovely. What the heck?

Over time I've had the opportunity (and a brazen lack of shame) to ask a few people why they felt that way about me. The answers I have received have been so varied and so bizarre that I still struggle to understand it. Which brings me to the point of this post.


Here are some of the reasons why I'm (apparently) a snob.


1. You don't talk much.

Ah, the classic answer. Apparently, because I don't socialise much or mix very well with people, I am a snob. No doubt, the only reason a person would not go around introducing himself to all and sundry is because he considers them inferior. Of course. What other reason could there be? It's not like perhaps he's self-conscious, shy, not a good conversationalist, or just quiet by nature.

No no, he's a snob. The bastard.


2. You're from Kandy.

I kid you not, I've even heard that! Yes, I am from the 'hill capital' and our people are full of the blood of kings, so naturally I am a snob. No, let's not judge my actions or my behaviour, or the fact that I'm half Indian and my father is a tamil. Lets just label me a derogatory term simply because I live here. I suppose this means people from the east coast are all fishermen and people from Nepal are all yetis.

Morons.

3. You talk to them so much and you don't talk to me like that.

That's because I don't know you like I know 'them'. I take time to get to know people, and when I reach a level of comfort I am free and open just like anyone else. However, I don't open up to everyone. Why should I? Surely I know who I would get along with, and also who would get along with me. If you're not that person, it's not that big a deal! I didn't get along with my own brother till about 5 years ago, he didn't mind. Why should you?

4. You speak English all the time.

That's because my Sinhala sucks. No, seriously, that's all there is to it.

Moron.

5. You have a massive ego.

I really have no idea where this comes from. I live at home with my parents, in a basement bedroom. I have no job, no friends and no money. How could I possibly have an ego? And this coming from someone that said I didn't talk much; I wonder how you managed to assess my massive ego without me saying anything.


6. You're a bully, you always say mean things to me.

You're right, I do. Especially with girls, I tend to be a bit over the top, but I have always thought I knew where to draw the line. I tend to show affection and camaraderie via slight verbal jabs and the like. It's just a way for me to show you that I'm having fun, and it isn't meant to be at your expense. If it does come across like that, perhaps I've crossed the line. This is the only point that I can somewhat understand.

7. You're always making fun of people.

Why is this such a bad thing? When I'm in a group I definitely make fun of someone or the other, if the opportunity arises. I like to think that people would do that to me too if they found something I said or did funny. Yet just because I point and laugh now and then, it doesn't mean it is done with malice. When a friend trips on his laces and falls over, I would laugh at him as long as he didn't fall in front of a moving vehicle and end up in hospital. Anything short of that is going to result in laughter. Wouldn't you? It's the universal short-cut to the funny bone - why else would we find this funny? It isn't done out of an air of superiority; if I tripped over my laces, I'd be surprised if no one laughed at me!

I have a sense of humour. If you don't get that, we shouldn't be talking anyway. And since when did having a sense of humour become a bad thing??

8. You use the word 'ciao'.

You have got to be kidding me.



I really should stop now, because my blood is boiling as I type this out (which reminds me - apparently getting angry is another sign of snobbishness!). I generally don't go around defending myself but the sheer ludicrousness of these assumptions were just begging for a post. At the end of it all, perhaps I am a snob, but if farcical deductions such as these are enough for people to form opinions on people, I shudder to think of the number of completely bogus stories that have been whispered behind people's back, accusing innocent (most likely) people for what is, in the end, no reason at all.


Watch your words, children.

It's 11pm as I sit down to write this post, and I'm struggling to find the right words to convey what this song reminds me of. Lyrically it's a beautiful song, and that really comes through in this live acoustic version that I found on YouTube recently.

Of late I've been reading a lot of posts, tweets and emails about the 'economics' of love, marriage and relationships, their logical and practical applications and limitations. I read about how love is blind, how it fades, how things change, about compromise and sacrifice and self-development, plus a lot of jargon that I don't fully understand.

It breaks my heart; or, in the words of Collective Soul - "And I laugh to myself, as the tears roll down, 'cos it's the world I know..."

Bible teachers often speak of the greek term "agape", which is used for "love" in many of the New Testament scriptures. The greek language has many words for "love", varying in degree and meaning. "Agape" love, if I may condense Wikipedia, is an 'unconditional, self-sacrificing, volitional and thoughtful love'. Now that's a love I want to believe in.

While this song conveys feeling that is nowhere near as intense as what I just described, it still brings to my mind questions of whether I would be able to display such powerful emotion. I want to believe that I can; that I am capable of putting someone else first, of voluntarily making sacrifices and showing unconditional support for someone. I want to believe that I can still show love in a way that, sadly, has become a bit of a joke in this cold, logical and theoretical world.

But enough of my rambling. This is "Ever The Same" by Rob Thomas. As always, the original is here and you can click here to download the audio. Many thanks to Pseudorandom for lending her fantastic voice for the backing vocals on this one.

I hope you enjoy it!

G

"Ever The Same"

We were drawn from the weeds
We were brave like soldiers
Falling down under the pale moonlight
You were holding to me
Like a someone broken
And I couldn't tell you but I'm telling you now

Just let me hold you while you're falling apart
Just let me hold you and we'll both fall down

Fall on me
Tell me everything you want me to be
Forever with you forever in me
Ever the same

We would stand in the wind
We were free like water
Flowing down
Under the warmth of the sun
Now it's cold and we're scared
And we've both been shaken
Hey, look at us
Man, this doesn't need to be the end

Just let me hold you while you're falling apart
Just let me hold you and we'll both fall down

Fall on me tell me everything you want me to be
Forever with you
Forever in me
Ever the same
Call on me
I'll be there for you and you'll be there for me
Forever it's you
Forever in me
Ever the same

You may need me there
To carry all your weight
But you're no burden I assure
You tide me over
With a warmth I'll not forget
But I can only give you love

Fall on me tell me everything you want me to be
Forever with you
Forever in me
Ever the same
Call on me
I'll be there for you and you'll be there for me
Forever it's you
Forever in me
Ever the same

Forever with you
Forever in me
Ever the same