Welcome to Darkside Daily

When I'm not writing about my experiences in this journey called 'life', I'm singing and uploading my own interpretations of modern music. Click on "Cover Songs" to hear them, or on the YouTube logo on the right to see my YouTube channel.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

What Australia Taught Me


So in an effort to break from the rather mundane routine that my life has now become, my parents suggested I go check out the Australian Education Fair at the Queens Hotel. Despite my focus being on getting a job at the moment, I thought it couldn't hurt to find out where I stood in terms of applying for a master's programme which is somewhere quite high on my list of goals to achieve before Armageddon.


And boy, it was 'educational'.


Here is what I learnt, in no particular order.


1. The one day you need to get to the Queens, there will be a exposition of The Tooth at the Maligawa right next door.

Seriously, not only did they park buses across all the roads that provided access to that area, but the collective stench of body odour emanating from close to 3000 pious and sweaty pilgrims would have been enough to drive any potential terror threat back to the Vanni.


2. You may have unintentionally worn your killer red and black sunglasses along with a red Billabong t-shirt, but it still makes you look like your trying too hard.

Now I know how women feel when they're in a room full of drunk men. I felt like a piece of meat when I walked into that hall. Honestly, I just threw this together....


3. In an event that involves foreigners, the local liaisons suddenly develop a myriad of different accents that confuse said foreigners even more.


Honestly, the Australians sounded less Ozzy than some of ladies I spoke to. Why do we assume that the only way foreigners can understand us is if we sound like them? If English isn't their first language, so what? Why are they leaving their country if they don't know the international language? (No, I'm not talking about 'love' - go hug a tree you hippy) And for pete's sake, these were Australians. They DO know English! If they can't understand your attempts at communication, trust me, adopting their accent isn't going to help either.


4. Despite the number of smiles and quick glances you get from the cute girl at the stall your waiting in line in, she will find some excuse to leave 24 seconds before it's your turn.


The balding Australian man I spoke to must have thought I was the least enthusiastic applicant in the history of education.


5. Even though this is not an airplane, Sri Lankan aunties will still try to steal random fliers, pamphlets and brochures as if it is their right.


The brazen audacity some of these ladies had was just shocking. While the representative was talking to me, this one aunty quietly swooped in and tried to steal a few brochures from right under his nose! When he looked up with an amused smile, she gave our patented Lankan get-away-with-murder grin. Luckily, the local liaison intervened and spoke to her on the side, after which I think she gave her 'one'. I'm surprised she didn't try to steal the table cloths or the interior decor.


6. The slight pride you get when a representative of a foreign university commends your English quickly fades when he gives you a look of disappointment after hearing your degree percentage.


What? Engineering is tough ok?!


7. Studying in Australia is expensive!

Studying in Australia is expensive.


And there you have it - more words of wisdom from the Darkside.



19 comments:

TheWhacksteR said...

Haha niiice analysis man.. especially feel you about the cute girl leaving 24 seconds (timed it did you?) before you got to her and the accents of the local organizers.

TheWhacksteR said...

and dude wearing red to an education fair is asking for trouble!

Charm Bracelet said...

Red caused you that much trouble? For the love of all good things?!! Why?!

Masters, yeah another one of em hurdles for sure.

pissu perera said...

you don't do a masters here? i'm sure either ja'pura or moratuwa (possibly moratuwa) have masters programmes in engineering.

which reminds me, i have 10 pages to write, 12 chapters to read to write the 10 pages and less then 48 hours to do it. *screwed*

pissu perera said...

*don't want to do

damn typos

PseudoRandom said...

Hahaha I remember I went to the British Education Fair in Colombo once...pretty much the same scenario, apart from the pilgrims next door :D...and the cute girl :S

The other thing that amused me was contact email addresses people gave. I mean can you imagine the admissions office of University of X sending an email to "cutensexychick_35@hotmail"? :D

If you're actually considering a Masters and you're worried about your grades...get some work experience to fatten up your CV. The grades won't matter that much once they see you've got experience.

Sachintha said...

LOL man... chose your clothes better next time... :D

Me said...

The best option for affordable higher education is a PhD. Especially in Engineering, there are a lot of options (full schols) in the US if you have decent GRE marks. They don't sponsor for Masters though.

What's your field of engineering, btw?

T said...

"Honestly, I just threw this together"

hahahaahaa

aufidius said...

lol! brilliant analysis man!

Baby Z said...

Note to self and other readers: DO NOT read this when you have to pee! See, I drink lots of water during the day and as I was reading this I bagged up laughing so hard I damn near pissed my pants!That was mistake #1.

Mistake #2 was rockin skin tight pants with a million zippers and buttons. I was beggin the Lord for mercy one minute and cussin up a storm the next. And no I didn't actually piss my pants, but this was the closest I've come to it in a long time.

Gehan said...

whackster: haha yea apparently, well, now i know!

charms: well to be fair i did look hot... :P

pissu perera: i am SO disappointed in u.. i REFUSE to reply to a comment from u that isnt at LEAST 200 words long! :D

pseudorandom: aaah... so now i know ur email address... :P

sachintha: im just too impulsive it seems..

Me (you?): me doing a PhD with MY B.E. is like trying to go to the moon on a treadmill.. :D besides, im tryin to diversify... appreciate the advice tho, thanks!

T: what?? i did....! :(

aufidius: thanks!!

baby z: lol..! im glad u liked it that much :)

Jerry said...

Hahah!
lolfactory post dude :D

PseudoRandom said...

Chee, no way man...35 is such an unlucky number :P

Gehan said...

yeah, but u had such a good year when u were 35 rite...? :P

PseudoRandom said...

Ouch...that hurt :P

hijinx said...

:D Nice one, Gey Gey! And red and black huh? hmmmmm....

Sabby said...

Red?! Really?! "gack" =P
Sri Lankan Aunties would remain the same, wherever they may be. *mutters* stupid perfume, shiny cheeked little critters.

And whats a red and black sunglass??! Hmmm and RED?!! =/

Roman said...

Gehan, two remarks:

First, you've got too much time on your hands to be writing something like this.

Second, you're a genius! Love your style. :-)

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...