First of all, a belated Happy Women's Day to all the ladies out there. Yes, you too Jerry.
Yesterday we celebrated the 'female nation', and acknowledged, at least for a day, what they have known since the beginning of time - that they are better than us.
Women have made astounding strides in the last few decades, accompanied by the steady staccato beat of their high heels. We have women's rights, equal pay for women, even their own little section in the subway, much to the annoyance of Sachintha. Nowadays, it is not uncommon to see women CEO's or even women working in manual labour type jobs. The world is evolving, and I for one am in full approval.
However, there is one privilege that women have had for centuries, something that they have laid claim to with little or no resistance from men. It is a mysterious 'gift' that is passed on from mother to daughter, and has been so since the dawn of time. Yes, I'm talking about the phenomenon known as "Women's Intuition".
This mystical blessing grants the user the uncanny ability to sneak a glimpse into the immediate future, predict the outcome of relationships, marriages or dates, detect when their man is lying, cheating or covering up, it allows them to detect hidden currents or attractions between friends; in some extreme cases (usually following a bit too much vodka) it even predicts the turn of the stock market. Many a times we men have struggled to comprehend this annoying act of clairvoyance from our female counterparts, and are further exasperated when our cries of "HOW THE (ahem) DID YOU KNOW THAT?!" are only met with a slight shrug and a 'knowing' nod.
Yes ladies, smirk all you want. I'm about to burst your little bubble.
You see, it is a little known fact that women aren't the only ones blessed with this superpower. No, we men have our own male version of this gift, albeit a more restricted version but way more cooler (obviously!). However, it is such a well kept secret that this may come as a startling revelation even to some men out there.
Guys, remember that time when you were going to buy your girlfriend that expensive necklace, and then suddenly you saw the new Grand Theft Auto and decided to buy that for yourself instead? And remember how three days later you caught her sucking face with the 'platonic' friend? Yeah, that was your Men's Intuition kicking in, foreseeing the eventual heart break and hooking you up with a brilliant video game that allows you to vent your frustration by mindlessly assaulting pedestrians with an assault rifle.
Granted, the above illustration could be disregarded as fiction, but I find that the most obvious sign of Men's Intuition is when it comes to the other guys and your gal-pals. To me, nothing is more annoying than when girls don't see that a guy is making a play at them. I mean, all the signs are there - the extra displays of affection, the random texts and phone calls, the pointless invitations to go grocery shopping with them. Perhaps it's not even these, but being men we somehow GET the signs and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that within the next couple of days, he is going to ask her out. But NO! Our lady friends dismiss us with a laugh and that you-don't-know-what-you're-talking-about-because-the-testosterone-is-affecting-your-brainwaves look (yes ladies, you do have one of those). The next day, you call us and needle us even more, telling us what a great guy he is, and how he's so friendly and cool and not at all hitting on you and that we were just being jealous possessive idiots for even thinking that he was into you. The next day it gets even better; you tell us that he has a girlfriend, and hence nothing could possibly happen with him and you.
Wait for it.
Wait for it..
THEN you call us and tell us how he tried to skip to second base when he was reaching over for the lettuce in the grocery today.
So ladies, we may be primal, simple, and not 'get' your emotional needs, but when your guy friend offers an opinion about some new man in your life, perhaps it would be best to listen.