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Monday, March 9, 2009

Men's Intuition


First of all, a belated Happy Women's Day to all the ladies out there. Yes, you too Jerry.


Yesterday we celebrated the 'female nation', and acknowledged, at least for a day, what they have known since the beginning of time - that they are better than us.


Women have made astounding strides in the last few decades, accompanied by the steady staccato beat of their high heels. We have women's rights, equal pay for women, even their own little section in the subway, much to the annoyance of Sachintha. Nowadays, it is not uncommon to see women CEO's or even women working in manual labour type jobs. The world is evolving, and I for one am in full approval.


However, there is one privilege that women have had for centuries, something that they have laid claim to with little or no resistance from men. It is a mysterious 'gift' that is passed on from mother to daughter, and has been so since the dawn of time. Yes, I'm talking about the phenomenon known as "Women's Intuition".


This mystical blessing grants the user the uncanny ability to sneak a glimpse into the immediate future, predict the outcome of relationships, marriages or dates, detect when their man is lying, cheating or covering up, it allows them to detect hidden currents or attractions between friends; in some extreme cases (usually following a bit too much vodka) it even predicts the turn of the stock market. Many a times we men have struggled to comprehend this annoying act of clairvoyance from our female counterparts, and are further exasperated when our cries of "HOW THE (ahem) DID YOU KNOW THAT?!" are only met with a slight shrug and a 'knowing' nod.


Yes ladies, smirk all you want. I'm about to burst your little bubble.


You see, it is a little known fact that women aren't the only ones blessed with this superpower. No, we men have our own male version of this gift, albeit a more restricted version but way more cooler (obviously!). However, it is such a well kept secret that this may come as a startling revelation even to some men out there.


Guys, remember that time when you were going to buy your girlfriend that expensive necklace, and then suddenly you saw the new Grand Theft Auto and decided to buy that for yourself instead? And remember how three days later you caught her sucking face with the 'platonic' friend? Yeah, that was your Men's Intuition kicking in, foreseeing the eventual heart break and hooking you up with a brilliant video game that allows you to vent your frustration by mindlessly assaulting pedestrians with an assault rifle.


Granted, the above illustration could be disregarded as fiction, but I find that the most obvious sign of Men's Intuition is when it comes to the other guys and your gal-pals. To me, nothing is more annoying than when girls don't see that a guy is making a play at them. I mean, all the signs are there - the extra displays of affection, the random texts and phone calls, the pointless invitations to go grocery shopping with them. Perhaps it's not even these, but being men we somehow GET the signs and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that within the next couple of days, he is going to ask her out. But NO! Our lady friends dismiss us with a laugh and that you-don't-know-what-you're-talking-about-because-the-testosterone-is-affecting-your-brainwaves look (yes ladies, you do have one of those). The next day, you call us and needle us even more, telling us what a great guy he is, and how he's so friendly and cool and not at all hitting on you and that we were just being jealous possessive idiots for even thinking that he was into you. The next day it gets even better; you tell us that he has a girlfriend, and hence nothing could possibly happen with him and you.


Wait for it.


Wait for it..


Ah.


THEN you call us and tell us how he tried to skip to second base when he was reaching over for the lettuce in the grocery today.


So ladies, we may be primal, simple, and not 'get' your emotional needs, but when your guy friend offers an opinion about some new man in your life, perhaps it would be best to listen.


20 comments:

DeeCee said...

oh shit. this hit home. :I

Charm Bracelet said...

Hmmmm Men's intuition eh? Ok, half agree Half disagree.

Disagree

"Guys, remember that time when you were going to buy your girlfriend that expensive necklace, and then suddenly you saw the new Grand Theft Auto and decided to buy that for yourself instead? And remember how three days later you caught her sucking face with the 'platonic' friend? Yeah, that was your Men's Intuition kicking in"

Because... this has nothing to do with Men's intution. It's u boys being boys, and u love ur toys! Besides, if it were intuition, You would get some weird vibe that things are not right somewhere and hence ud definitely not be considering a necklace or any sentimental gift like that.


Grudginly agree.. :S

"but I find that the most obvious sign of Men's Intuition is when it comes to the other guys and your gal-pals. To me, nothing is more annoying than when girls don't see that a guy is making a play at them. I mean, all the signs are there - the extra displays of affection, the random texts and phone calls, the pointless invitations to go grocery shopping with them."

Oh well you do *grimace* have a point... but it's a bit stupid if ur a woman and u keep ignoring these signs, because trust me we know what that vibe feels like. Guess our minds tell us that it's our ego or we're imagining things etc etc. Nevertheless, u do get the completely innocent platonic guy friend too. Depends on how and where u draw the line and how good an understanding you have with each other.

:)

T said...

hahaah thats funny. now if only you guys could stop being so astute when *other* guys are hitting on us and just pick up on when *we* are hitting on *you*. it would make life so much easier.

T said...

i just realized that my previous comment makes it look like im hitting on you! that is not the case. im just saying men are so damn slow at picking up on whether a girl likes them or not.

sigh. the last few weeks of sitting across the room and stare-smiling to no avail is getting to me.

Dili said...

Its always fascinated me how girls think guys dont know guys in those kinda situations :P lol

& Bro, you're scary. you're GTA4 metaphor totally happened to me. Only it was NFS:MW instead. It saved me from post-breakup depression actually lolz . Intuition perhaps? :)

Mes intuition is totally there. Its especially prevalent in the vicinity of a hot girl or an irate significant other, even more so when the above are @ the same time xD

Sabby said...

*ahem*

*sigh*

*glares*

Ok I don't know what emotion I am trying to portray here, either way...damn you for being right! Why can't we give men the benefit of the doubt and assume that they are not interested and its all innocent, huh huh?! =P

Totally agree with T's first comment though. It WOULD make life so much easier.

Wonder where this post rooted from though!

FINroD said...

i kinda agree with u mate.. but i also kinda agree with charm bracelet.. i mean not all men be-friend in order to get into their pants so to speak... some just want to be friends.. I have come across many a situation where the guy had to let go of a very good friend cos his girlfriend dint like him hanging out with that girl.. or the boyfriend asked his girlfriend to let go of her friend... its just that when it comes to male/female friendships as long as u both know that its just a friendship and nothing else.. plus as long as u keep a certain amount of distance then u are fine... and when it comes to the boyfriend or the girlfriend its all a matter of how much u are secure in ur relationship and how much u trust ur partner...

Jerry said...

I disagree

Men > Women.



:P

hijinx said...

Haha! that second one has definitely happened to me, but I think it's not really that we don't know, more that we suspect and then think it's our imagination, like someone else said...

But naice one :D

Delilah said...

Sigh. Must agree with ya. Thankfully i have a guy pal who can play the devil's advocate to perfection and leaves me no room for woolly speculation about men.

Makuluwo said...

Hahaha! Nice one, G!
And I didn't even know it was Women's Day! Woo.

Baby Z said...

Well, I'm a woman and I don't have much intuition at all. I don't usually realize a dangerous situation til it's too late.

As for girls having guy friends, Lanta and me have been best friends since we were kids (years before the hormones started kickin in) but after that it can only go one way and it did, when we were 14. We were and still are best friends, that's why we jumped the broom. I still have guy friends tho, they just know I'm off limits.

Gypsy said...

God, this is so hilarious! Had me laughing at my computer and myself for a good long while. I have to say that I totally agree with Charm Bracelet's eloquent argument. (You go girl!)

But...

The second part of it ALWAYS happens to me. I'm a total dweeb when it comes to men hitting on me. I wonder if they're hitting on me, figure they just CAN'T be and then am rather surprised when they take it up a notch so that even I can't ignore the signs. And yes, I have plenty of men friends warning me and I never listen. So yeah. I get it. The frustration's really annoying, so I'll admit that your Men's Intuition theory carries some weight.

Women's intuition is way cooler though.

:P

And T - I totally agree. Men are just silly in the end. We just have to deal with it. We love them, but they're just. Silly.

No offence to you Gehan :) Mwah!

messiahofmadness said...

I lack woman's intuition... =(

Tsk tsk, dissing womens' intuition on Womens' day. Shame on you! =P

Gehan said...

dee: ooh... oops? :D

charms: well, the reason we go for the toy at that particular time is cos o our subconsciouns men's intuition kicking in..! yea its so under da radar we dnt even realise :D and as for the completely innocent guys, well, then out lil alarm bells dnt go off no? :P

T: lol well i guess it works both ways :D

T: :D relax, i didnt think anythin of the sort..! and perhaps u should jus give up staring and scaring him off :P a simple 'hi' might work :D

dili: lol exactly, i totally agree

sabby: well i spose u could do that and suffer the consequences :P

finrod: yea, i never said that all men are tryin to get into a girls pants.. im jus talkin abt the guys that ARE hittin on a girl without her realising it..

jerry: ur astute observation is noted :P

hijinx: yep, thats prob da train o thought.. and thanks :)

delilah: aah.. lucky u :)

makuluwo: lol thanks! and what kinda woman are u?? :P

baby Z: alrite... :)

gypsy: :D im glad u liked it that much! womens intuition is more 'refined', but in no way is it cooler :P and yes, no offence taken... i am, after all, the exception to the rule :P

MoM: LOL well to be fair i posted this da day AFTER womens day :D hahaha...!

Disease said...

This is what you call 64 Mayam in Sinhalese Mate =D But when it comes to Love most women doesn't have even 10 of that cos they let their emotions take control and rule them

That's where Men like us comes to the Party (But some guys act like gals too that's another story hehe)


Still I believe that a Man cannot live without a Woman and Woman cannot live without a Man its just life I guess we have to accept and honor that

PS: Awesome Post =D

~Peace~

PseudoRandom said...

Hehe I was having the same discussion with some friends a while back. I think hijinx said it best.

I also think it's sort of a self-preservation strategy - convince yourself that he's not hitting on you, so that if he is, you're pleasantly surprised...and if he isn't, you're not humiliated.

Just Me said...

Gehan.. MAN you like AWESOME! I loved the 2nd part...

LMAO

N said...

@T You girls need to make it more obvious to us! It's hard to differntiate sometimes between being overly friendly and being into you. Hit us over the head or something, you know...be a 'little' less subtle. :)

Sachintha said...

HAHAHHAHAHA AWESOME!
:D

Hey dude, I DO have a right to get annoyed, don't I? LOL...
I mean, they could have painted the whole thing in pink - instead of a little screen - so that we would notice! :P

Btw, spot on...
Reading this, it reminded of a little story...


A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.

A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends, eight of which confirmed that he had slept over, and two said that he was still there.


LMAO!!!

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