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When I'm not writing about my experiences in this journey called 'life', I'm singing and uploading my own interpretations of modern music. Click on "Cover Songs" to hear them, or on the YouTube logo on the right to see my YouTube channel.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Kitchen Chaos

From what I've heard, having a mad family is actually considered 'normal'. If your family is sane and predictable, chances are something is wrong, and you have my sympathies. As for me, despite all evidence to the contrary, I suppose there is hope.

Allow me to illustrate.

/Scene1: Kitchen, during dinner. Radio is on for the news/

[Mom, me and bro talking loudly about random topics]

Dad: Be quiet!! Can't you see I'm trying to listen to the news???


[Over the radio: "..... Chris Brown has just been released from jail, and the rumour is that girlfriend Rihanna's last minute no-show at the Grammy's may be tied to his assault..."]

Dad: .........

/Scene2: Kitchen, during dinner/

Mom: Gehan, this Beyonce - when did she get married?

Me: [taken off guard] errr.. some time ago I think. Why?

Mom: Hmmm. She got in trouble with some old black singer recently no? Because of the song she sang at the Inauguration Ball?

Me: errr.. yeah, Etta James actually. But how did you....?

Mom: She's a nice girl actually, though she dresses - aggressively. But she has a split personality no?

Me: [shock]Yeah, how did you....?

Mom: Yeah, and the other persona she's called some "Sasha Fierce" or something no? That's why on stage and all she's so - aggressive.

Bro: [with mouth full] HUH?? What?? Really??

Me: [marvels at how his 50 year old (sorry mom!) mother knows more about Beyonce than his teenage brother, and wonders if that's a good thing or a bad thing]

/Scene3: Kitchen, after dinner/

[Me trying to convince bro that some weird tiny growth behind his ear is proof that he is actually a Klingon]

Bro: Here shutup! Ma...!! Look what he's saying....!

Mom: It's ok, lots of people have growths..

Bro: MA!!

Me: Yeah, at least it's not like my friend. He has an extra thumb. Even that actor Hrithik Roshan has one.

Bro: What??? Really?? But he's an actor!! Do they show his hands in movies?

Me: .... no, he does all his scenes in a straitjacket...

Bro: ... Wait! Is he married???

Me: [wonders what this has to do with anything] err.. yes...?

Bro: What??? Who would marry someone with an extra finger?? What's wrong with her???

Me: [looks at mom. Mom looks at me. Wonders where we went wrong with the boy]

/End Scene/


Jerry said...


And W.T.F!? Beyonce?! Really???

TheWhacksteR said...

woah! whod marry anyone with an extra finger!??

DeeCee said...

i'd marry someone with an extra finger...for ...reasons.

ANYWAY...funny. my mum's the SAME!

Sabby said...

LOL @ Deecee!

Random conversations are so much fun!

myprerogative said...

can always use the extra grip from an extra finger i'd say!

PseudoRandom said...

Hee hee your mother sounds awesome :-)

Anonymous said...

lol.. my mom does that too! :D
and ur brother is hilarious! lmao!

Gehan said...

jerry: yes. really.

whackster: i'll put u in touch with my bro then.. :D

DC: gaar..! pls, this is a family friendly blog :D lol

sabby: you would kno ;)

myprerogative: well im sure u can get one attached if u wanted :D

pseudorandom: why thank u! :) id tell her if she knew i was writing about her.. lol

blackexists: pls, dnt encourage the boy.. :D

Charm Bracelet said...

hehe! I'm glad to know I'm not alone in the dinner table discussion dept.! :)

Baby Z said...

You're family is normal. When my huband and I got married (against our parents wishes) I joined the Seneviratne freak show..I mean family. Of course even as a kid I knew they were a little off, so I can't plead ignorance. In fact my husband is the only normal guy in the whole lot, of course he's no angel, he's just as evil as me, only cooler. Here's what I got:

My sister-in-law got pregnant when she was 17 and kept the baby. The dad is a Cuban puto and refused to marry her, obviously finding her a husband is a lost cause now. She's still trying to get him for child support though.

My brother-in-law has been in and out of jail since he was like 14 for drugs and gang activity. He's a high roller and can't seem to keep his ass out of jail for more then a month and when he's not in the pen he's on the streets up to no good. He once tried to shank a guy before my husband came and broke up the fight.

My father-in-law apparently had a lover back in the day, but was forced into an arranged marriage and never lets his wife forget this. He's a boozehound and tries to drink away his problems.

My mother-in-law is a total space cadet. She's lived in this country for well over 27 years and yet still acts as if she just stepped off the Lankan Express. It's like she's in denial about everything going on around her.

Sabby said...

So...ermm...Gehan, when did you join the psychologist field eh?! =P

I need a shrink too! =)

P.S: Your word verification thing made me type in 'menses' =/

Baby Z said...

Well Sabby, my shrink wasn't in and I just felt the need to vent...Psych!

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