The world is ending. No, this is not another discourse on global warming and how it could actually benefit mankind (please read "Hurray for global warming!"), but this is another undisputed fact. The signs are clear, the cards have been dealt, the stars have spoken. We are living on borrowed time.
Yes, borrowed time. Why do I say that? Well, let me illustrate. Do you watch TV? A typical television show consists of around 21 episodes, and always somewhere in the lineup there's a flashback episode. That's the one where the characters end up 'looking back' at events that occurred in earlier episodes. (Personally, I hate those shows; what's the point of watching a new episode if it's made up of old episodes?) These episodes are usually thrown in towards the end of the season, and when you see that episode you know that it's almost done.
That's exactly what's happening to the world right now. My friends, brace yourself; we're in the flashback episode. Horror of horrors.
Fine, that may not have sounded as cool as, say, "Welcome to the Matrix!" or something like that, but bear with me. Just take a closer look around. Have you noticed how everything is making a 'comeback'? The intelligent minds in the world of fashion have worked long and hard and come up with this conclusion; retro is cool. What?! That can't be right! How are we sposed to get to wearing space-age suits with little Saturn-rings around them ala The Jetsons (remember that show?) if our fashion journey is going in reverse, back to the days of extra huge sunglasses and the Granddad-style cardigans with elbow patches? No, something is wrong somewhere. And its not just fashion, what about movies? The latest trend in Hollywood is the 'sequel'; yes, just make a movie, any movie, and then make three more after it with the same cast, same plot, same everything. We've even gone back to musicals with the likes of 'Hairspray' and 'Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber Of Fleet Street'. Musicals?! What happened to CGI?! And now we're making a Knight Rider movie?! WITH David Hasselfhoff in it?!
Don't even get me started on music. Where do I begin? Every other song is now 'influenced' by something we've heard in the 70's or 80's. My current favourite song? "Beat it" by, no not Michael Jackson, but Fall Out Boy. Of course, the music industry knows how to sufficiently disguise the dearth of musical ingenuity in today's day and age. They use terms such as 'cover' and 'remix' to make us believe that the artist is releasing his own 'interpretation' of some classic tune. Westlife were quite adept in this little feat of trickery, releasing single after single of re-hashed songs, the only difference being that they had to make a music video for it which the original probably never had. Throw in some 'cute' 20-something men in tight sweaters and puppy dog faces and they'd make you believe that "Star spangled banner" is an original song of theirs. And most of the time its terrible; how can we forget Britney Spear's version of Joan Jett and the Blackheart's "I love rock n roll", not to mention that terrible cover of the Rolling Stones' "(I can't get no) Satisfaction"?! Oh and of course, special mention to the A-Teens; ABBA wannabe's! ABBA?! Are you kidding me?!
Hip hop artists are a little more subtle, they just steal a chorus or a hook and rap all over it, thus creating something 'fresh' and 'new'. Sure, and if I cut off the roof of my car, I am suddenly the owner of a 'new' convertible.
Yes, the world is stuck in a rut. The wheels are spinning but we're not going anywhere. Be warned, soon you'll find the Bee Gees latest single "(Still) Staying Alive" storming the charts, and you'll probably stand in line to buy the single. Right after you go to see this summer's blockbuster movie "I've almost forgotten what you did last summer.. but not quite", all dressed up in your coat-tails and top hat.