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When I'm not writing about my experiences in this journey called 'life', I'm singing and uploading my own interpretations of modern music. Click on "Cover Songs" to hear them, or on the YouTube logo on the right to see my YouTube channel.

Friday, April 30, 2010

Suicide - Part 2

(continued from here)

When I wrote Part 1 of this entry on Suicide, I was a little hesitant to publish it. Most of my posts, be it my headless videos or my other random musings are generally received with mixed emotions, and so I was slightly uneasy as to how people would perceive this attempt at semi-fictional writing, especially since it was in a rather sensational and over-the-top style, if I do say so myself.

Still, I published it, and even I was slightly surprised at the different types of comments and feedback I received regarding it; on Facebook, the blog and even in person. Some focussed on the writing style, and commented on that, while others were more focussed on the content. Some noticed the “Based on a true story” at the end, and were confused by it. Still others were eager for part 2, to ‘see how the story ends’. This, I suppose, was the most unexpected response.

Because, you see, this really is based on a true story. Luckily, it was not someone that I knew, but my friends had told me of this incident recently and it greatly disturbed me. For, in real life, there was no happy ending. There was no ‘part 2’. She texted her friends; and she jumped.

Suicide is a ‘phenomena’ that is disturbingly prevalent in our communities. When I was in school I used to hear tales of how school children jumped in front of trains when they got bad O’ Level or A’ Level results; I simply could not wrap my mind around it then. Last year we read of suicide in a prominent girl’s school in Colombo, all due to some petty matter regarding the possession of a cell phone. I read those articles too, and I shook my head in disbelief.

I do not look down on people with suicidal tendencies; in fact, I understand the thinking behind it. I’m sure that every one of us, if we peer inwards with honesty, will admit to having considered the thought of ending one’s life, simply due to the burdens we bear on a daily basis. This world may be more technologically advanced, but the average individual is now more stressed and pressured than ever before, making us susceptible to depression, anxiety, and suicide.

To be completely and brutally honest, even I went through a phase where I wondered about ending my life. I was in my late teens, studying abroad, and I felt I was in over my head. I just couldn’t handle the stress, expectations and decisions of life with regards to family, friends and studies, and the thought of escaping all that with a simple decision was indeed intoxicating.

Yes, at the end of the day, it really is about escaping. I sincerely doubt anyone that commits suicide pauses to think of where they are escaping to, as long as they get away from where they are. Over the last year I have heard people who are dear to me talk of suicide, and wanting to give up on their lives. Rarely have I ever been so heart-broken than when I heard them say so. It is a bitter reminder to me that I live in a world where people rarely stand up tall when the storm comes.

We have become a people of quitters. We sometimes mock celebrities for their string of failed relationships, but in the end we are people who would rather save a rainforest than save a marriage. We would rather compromise than stand firm. We would rather get high then get real. We would rather end our life than actually live it. This is no way meant to be condescending; it is just a conclusion I have reached after endless encounters where I am left holding the strings as someone I know and love gives up and succumbs.

Our world is changing before our very eyes, and we seem to be unable to cope with it. I read of teenagers, no older than 15, going into depression because of the peer pressure to lose their virginity. I read of senseless murder and assault, done merely for entertainment sake. I read of false religious leaders hiding their perverted fantasies behind the guise of ‘faith’. Whether you’re a Christian, Buddhist, Muslim or an atheist, believe me when I say – there is a storm brewing. It’s time we took up a stand, because from now on, we are literally fighting for our lives.


Scrumps said...

I think there are two types of people who are driven to suicide - those who have thought things through and really cannot see any other option and those who see it as the easy option and the best way to avoid their situation. I can't say that I understand it because I don't

When I think of my friend's brother and the aftermath of his suicide, I really think there was no more that he could stand up tall to.

A thought provoking post Gehan.

Audy said...

I didnt want her to die....

rawk ninja said...

Jeez...There's no flippin' way to fave posts?! Anyway, I completely agree that shit is getting so close to the fan that the damp, stomach churning smell is filling the noses of everyone who can see above the haze. I thought of ending it all as well...In my mid-teens, luckily I still wanted to see what the future held...Here's to hoping that sooner rather than later; we'll see a vast change for the better...Much, MUCH better...

Gehan said...

Scrumps: im so sorry to hear that, i hope my post didnt come off as insensitive. I too just don't understand any of it.

Audy: me too.. me too :(

rawk ninja: indeed, lets hope so..

Seesaw said...

Brilliant post.

But do you think people have become weaker over the years? I think the root causes remain essentially the same- personality and society.I think we are just more aware of what is happening, thanks to the age of information, and this scares us.

I can understand why someone would choose to end their life. It's sad and selfish, but who are we to judge? All you can do is be thankful that you are stronger.

We should talk about it more often though; address the possibility it happening to any of us. Or atleast write more posts like this one. Thanks Gehan :-)

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