Welcome to Darkside Daily

When I'm not writing about my experiences in this journey called 'life', I'm singing and uploading my own interpretations of modern music. Click on "Cover Songs" to hear them, or on the YouTube logo on the right to see my YouTube channel.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Of Hair, Retards And Random Things

'Tis the season to be jolly, and how can you not when you bump into the kind of people that I do?

Today we went for a carol service conducted by - well, let's say it was a prominent girls school in Kandy. Two of the girls from our youth group were performing, so we thought we would go and check it out. As we walked up to the hall, I suddenly realised that I was probably going to be one of a very small amount of twenty-something men at the service; sure enough, my first look at the audience confirmed my hunch as the seats were filled with parents and teachers. Normally I have no issues being the sole male in a hall full of girls, but in a few days I am going to turn 24 - drawing the attention of 16year old girls is no longer a good thing.

While I was cursing myself for coming, my mom was collecting the programme sheet from the girls at the entrance. "Excuse me ma'am", one of them said, "would you be interested in purchasing these christmas cards? They're only Rs.25 and they've been designed by retards."

It took every ounce of self-control to prevent myself from bursting out in laughter. The fact that these girls were actually supporting said 'retards' by selling these cards while at the same time using the politically incorrect term was just too hilarious! I can imagine the girls turning up at the organisation's office with the proceeds from the card sales and saying "Here you go, we raised all this money for your retard kids! Oh, you're speechless with gratitude.. No need to thank us, we adore those little dumbasses...!"

The other day we had gone to Colombo for the day. As we did the rounds of our usual joints, i.e., Majestic City, Crescat e.t.c., I soon realised that I was going out of style. Well, let me rephrase - I was definitely not standing out in the crowd. And what a crowd! Every other guy seemed to be sporting some form of mohawk, ear-rings, coloured contacts and some killer kicks. I was especially taken with the hair cuts - the long straightened hair thing has been around for a while, and the weird half-pony tail thing is nothing new either, but a mohawk?! Seriously?? The amount of work that must go into just getting the thing into some semblance of order is just beyond me.

As for me, well, it's a well known fact that my hair is useless. It more or less does whatever it wants, yet is always centered around a single style that I've had since I was 14 years old. I've tried growing it, combing it down, spiking it, parting it, talking to it - nothing works. For example, the other day I realised the hair in front had suddenly decided to point left instead of point right like it's been doing all this while. Sometimes it decides to lie flat, sometimes it makes me look like Tintin; and no matter how much gel I apply on it, it won't budge.

So yes, I am a bit envious of these ultra-cool haircuts, because let's face it; we all like to be noticed once in a while at least. I could of course attempt to colour my hair, but I have a hunch that won't help my job hunt too much. I tell myself that I could never carry off a stud, but the truth is more along the lines of my deep rooted fear of sticking sharp objects into my body (so tattoo's are out - rats!).

Yes, the 'dark one' is going to be lurking in the shadows if/when he moves to Colombo, and that suits him just fine. The view is so much more fun from there anyway......


myprerogative said...

Thats Funny shit dude!
I just can't figure out some women!! lol... Jesus!! to actually call them retards while selling the fricking cards.... ha ha

Lady divine said...

Those girls actually said that?????
I like to watch hairstyle parades.. and wonder how people get time to maintain them! and do them every day!!

Jerry said...

Hi five brother!
My hair is a sentient being too. Not the smart, ultra cool kind. Just the common garden snail variety sentience.

And lmao @ the retards! I would've burst out laughing!

PseudoRandom said...

OMG! That is funny but in a cringeworthy way. I hope none of those girls read your blog! :P

I'm very old fashioned myself, so I see nothing wrong with 'garden snail' type hairstyles on guys (as long as it's less slimy than a garden snail...a lot less slimy). A girl's got to worry about a guy who spends too much time on his hair on a daily basis!

Sabby said...

Hey Hey! Watch it, TinTin was a sexy man in his time =D

Gehan said...

myprerogative: my reaction exactly! bizarre....

Lady Divine: honestly, i couldnt make somethin like this up...!

jerry: High five right back at cha! ...... ok that was jus awkward..... :D

pseudorandom: somehow, i have a feeling that they aren't the type to read blogs.. lol.. but im being mean.. wait.. i dnt care.. as for ur affinity to snail-like hair, well.. watever works for u.. ;) hehe

sabby: welcome back sabby :) and im quite sure tintin was gay.......

naomi said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Gehan said...

why thank u naomi.. keep reading.. im sorry i had to delete ur comment, but the answer to ur question is 'yes'... do we know each other?

Spice said...

Helllllo, you are back!
AND you stole my 'OF this and this and that' line! :P Expect a copyrights violation letter in the mail soon misterh!!

So the important question, did you correct those poor girls?

ps-I think we share similar hair issues!

Gehan said...

spice: do u really think anyone is going to try to sue the darkside....? >:D

nope, i didnt correct them cos it took me abt ten mins to prevent myself from laughing.. after tat da moment was gone.. hehe..

Baby Z said...

My husband is something of the perfect male specimen, sure nobody's perfect and we all have our moments, but he is seriously among the best looking dudes I've ever seen. He has skin the color of chocolate, naturally straight black hair that he can style in any way, light colored (almost green eyes)thick dark eyelashes that most girls would die to have and nice European features. Even American girls are jealous of me.

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