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When I'm not writing about my experiences in this journey called 'life', I'm singing and uploading my own interpretations of modern music. Click on "Cover Songs" to hear them, or on the YouTube logo on the right to see my YouTube channel.

Thursday, October 30, 2008


I'm exhausted. And I like it.

There is something personally gratifying to be completely and utterly physically exhausted. Despite how that may sound, I am definitely not masochistic; I assure you that the only 'rush' I experience out of cutting myself is the rush to the first aid cabinet.

When I was in college, I used to play basketball for at least two hours every day without fail. Somehow I'd drag myself back to my room (which, despite changing blocks several times during my studies, was never on the ground floor) and simply collapse on the floor. There I'd lie for at least 30 minutes, sitting under the fan, drenched in sweat, feet on fire and muscles burning from exertion. It was a good feeling; so good that many times I have considered just laying like that till morning (of course, I never did though; I may be a guy, but I have some sense of cleanliness - my room mate's continuous wailing helped too). I may never have been a great basketball player, but I have always considered myself an athlete. Being able to tell myself at the end of the day that I squeezed out every drop of effort (and perspiration) into the game left me with a feeling of achievement, which made the resulting body ache, exhaustion and occasional bruises, muscle pulls and rolled ankles completely worth it.

So after a few minutes of lying comatose on the floor, I'd gingerly pick myself up and have a nice hot bath. Yes, a hot bath; despite the fact that I lived in 32 degree heat, for there are few things on earth more soothing to aching muscles than a hot bath. That, and being pampered by your girlfriend over a late dinner after a nice hot bath .

Physical exhaustion and mental exhaustion are too very different things. Mental exhaustion leaves you feeling helpless, and incapable of handling anything more that comes your way. It is a state of desperation, occasionally depression, and has a much longer lasting effect on a person.

And, it is something that is so prevalent in today's world. Everywhere I look, everyone I meet, is exhausted from dealing with the stress and strife of today's modern life. We are told by our elders that it is necessary to go through this phase to become complete. What they're really telling us is "this is the real world, get used to it".

This is not a rant, I'm not complaining about the way life is, or how hard it is to get through it while still holding onto your sanity.

No. I'm just tired. Physically exhausted. And I figure, I should enjoy this while I can, because soon there won't be oppurtunity for me to run the floor, or to push myself to the limits during my evening runs, or working out in the gym. Soon, I'll be employed somewhere, most likely Colombo, and the only type of exhaustion I'll be experiencing will be the mental kind.

So, let me enjoy this. While I can.


alicia said...

oh yeah i agree! because for me, being physically drained leaves less room for mental exhaustion .. worked almost 12 hours today, took the same route home but i walked slow, stopped by a watch store on a whim and tried on a few watches for the kick of it!.. picked up lebanese grill on my way and by the time i was here, i was ready to collapse.. there's nothing like a hot shower after an exhausting day :)

Gerald said...

I know how you feel... Maybe it's the adrenalin?

All calm and...drained, but lovin' it.


TheWhacksteR said...

totally with you dr mate.. but hey look, bing employed doesnt have to change anything! mental ehaustion wont give you that sense of satisfaction IMHO.

DeeCee said...

i so agree. Yesterday i was so tired, had slight fever also. So just stayed at home and slept.

Once i marry that's it. No more working for fucktards and wasting my time. Gosh...i cannot wait!

Lady divine said...

hmmm... well depending on your profession, you never know whether working will only cause mental exhaustion...:) could be physical too in some cases...

And there are ways of dealing with things like that too...
Good post btw.. these are things we all know.. and realise only when brought to light..:) like you did..:)

and I love that feeling of physical exhaustion.. but not when it gets very uncomfortable to sleep, which tends to happen to me sometimes...

Gehan said...

Alicia: mmmm.. lebanese grill... sorry, wat were u saying...? :D

gerald aka jerry (wtf?!): i think ur rite, adrenalin prob plays a role, tho its more abt da feeling of it leavin ur system i guess..

whackster: exactly my point, mental exhaustion WONT give me tat satisfaction.. n how many workin ppl do u kno that have the time and energy after work to play ball? :) i hope ur rite tho..

deecee: lol exactly! once i marry, no more working, cant wait!... wait a min....

LD: (damn that song is back in my head!)perhaps ur rite, but i doubt ill ever have a job that drains me as much as a good pickup game on da court! thanks, im glad u like da post :)

Sabby said...

Mentally drained, that's what I am going through at the mo. The other day, I was walking home from Uni and I shut my eyes for a few minutes and realized that I was dozing off. Yes, THAT bad.

And "There I'd lie for at least 30 minutes, sitting under the fan, drenched in sweat.." Ewww! Stink alert! You are such a guy! =P

And also,
Clearly I bring out the corniness in you! =P

Gehan said...

sabby: "... muscles burning with exertion..."

damn right im such a guy :P

as for following asleep while walking.... well.. clearly, the drugs dont work sabby.. ;)

Foxhound said...

I agree with you 110%.

Excercise is so important and doing it really gives you an important kick. If I don't exercise I begin to feel really run down.

I started working a while ago and I almost had no exercise whatsoever except for the walk into work.

However for the last month and a half I've been running a lot... by waking up at 6:00 am or earlier in the morning. Totally worth it IMO. Where there's a will... there's a way.

Baby Z said...

That's how my husband is after a game, all sweaty and nasty, but he needs to take a shower and change his clothes before I let him anywhere me.

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