MAS Tree Planting Project - "Thuruwadula"

As you can tell, my blog posts are growing more and more sparse with every passing year. I wish that I could attribute this to work, but the truth is there really isn't much to write about of late.

 

Until now, that is. MAS is launching a tree plantation project on June 5th to celebrate World Environment Day. The project aims at reforesting 9.7 acres of land in Thuruwadula, Thulhiriya by replanting 1,400 trees by the end of 2013, using a technique known as 'analog forestry'. What this means, in short, is that it aims to restore the local biodiversity while providing economic opportunities to small-scale farmers.

 

The project is being handled by the MAS Environmental Sustainability Team and a Doug Adams team, and is probably one of the larger environmental projects being carried out in Sri Lanka in recent memory.

Now, here's where you can get involved as well. You can help sponsor a tree, along with the maintenance and care needed for it for the next 5 years, by making a one time donation of Rs. 1000 to the project. Further more, corporate financial sponsorship options are available, as well as options to sponsor sign boards at the location (roughly Rs. 10,000 per sign).

 

If you or anyone you know is interested, please send an email with your details and/or queries to the email addresses listed below, and they will assist in you making the donations for the project. Personally, I'm very excited about this, especially after witnessing the wanton destruction of trees in Colombo in the last 6-12 months. It's initiatives like these that need your attention to gain traction to undo all the wrong that we ourselves have done to this beautiful planet we call home.

The email addresses are listed below:

Thishan - ThishanD@masholdings.com
Wathsala - WathsalaSi@masholdings.com
Roshan – RoshanGun@masholdings.com
Veda – ChandimaV@masholdings.com
Cruze - FlorentineC@masholdings.com
Yasoja - YasojaW@masholdings.com

For more information regarding the project, please visit their website at www.thuruwadula.com .

 

Morons And Extremists - The Real Threat To Sri Lanka

I was listening to the PHAT 30 countdown on Friday evening when YES FM RJ's Jeremy and Delano started talking about Oscar Pistorious, the famous South African athlete who had just been arrested and subsequently charged with murdering his girlfriend. As you probably know by now, what at first seemed like an accidental shooting, later turned into a 1st degree murder charge. It was a tragic and highly charged story; however, it seems the friendly RJ's of YES FM didn't quite share this sentiment.

 

 

Let me just say, Jeremy and Delano are easily one of the worst RJ duos I have ever had the misfortune of listening to. I have heard babbling toddlers hold better conversations than these two geniuses; they spoke of the Pistorious murder in the most childish, idiotic way, first discussing the mechanics of shooting someone blind and then trying to guess what kind of costume Pistorious' model girlfriend must have been wearing to scare him into shooting her dead. Then, after fulfilling their quota of inane and insensitive chatter between songs, they promptly dedicated the next song to Oscar Pistorious' dead girlfriend.

The song? Ke$ha's "Die Young".

Let this sink in for a minute. These two clowns, who are professional RJ's, thought it was amusing to dedicate a song about partying like you're going to die young, to the victim of a brutal shooting. I almost stopped the car in shock and disbelief. It was a moment so inappropriate, so repulsive and so disgusting, most people would think twice before making that joke to their best friend. Here were two people who felt it was fine to share this during prime time on national radio.

This is just one example of a growing trend I have noticed in Sri Lanka, where people who you thought would 'know better', simply don't. From matters that range from women's rights to politics, from common manners to religion and race, a growing number of the 'educated masses', as I like to call them, are standing not on the side of reason but of complete madness.

Of course this sort of thing is not restricted to radio; I've already blogged about the famous (for 15 minutes) Sri Lankan sisters Natalie and Nadiya Anderson, who went on to discuss the various 'servants' they kept at home while being interviewed for The Amazing Race. While their actions can be excused as more a blooper than a serious issue, it once again shows the lack of awareness to cultural and social norms, especially when they were in essence representing the country to an international audience.

This is starting to ring some alarm bells, because Sri Lanka is no country of unity and harmony, despite the various images of harps and angels the government propaganda machine is generating. The truth is that while we have ended the most visible of wars, we are still fighting an invisible war against the dictatorship of the Rajapakses, the corruption of his friends-and-family government, the unknown state of the North, the lack of any form of opposition, poor education standards and the plight of women that work home and abroad, just to name a few. Given all these serious matters, it's important that the general public are educated and show solidarity for justice and reason, and not side with the fanatics and extremists, such as our newest friends - the Bodu Bala Sena.

 

 

Over the last few months, this group of organised (and sometimes violent) Buddhist extremists have become more and more vocal, staging protests and demonstrations against Muslims in various parts of the island. While anti-muslim hate is not something new in Sri Lanka, it has rarely been taken to such lengths as these. We can all remember how the Dambulla mosque incident turned out, with the Muslims wisely taking a diplomatic and non-confrontational stance towards the violent thuggery depicted by the monks. One wonders how much longer they can maintain such a stance, given the type of protests the BBS have staged. In the area where I work, monks and locals gathered together holding up signs depicting Allah as being a pig. Recently someone shared a picture of an effigy of what can only be either a Muslim imam or perhaps the Prophet being burned.

The BBS are very serious, and have active support in the most surprising circles. Not only has the government almost been completely silent on their activities, but there are a growing number of supporters that have thrown their weight behind their extremist views. Facebook especially has been flooded with 'patriotic' hate groups, calling for Sri Lankan 'lions' to purge the country of all Muslims since we are after all a 'buddhist state'.

 

 

Here's the thing though; let's for a minute put aside the agenda of the BBS. They are, after all, just another extremist hate group, and the world has its fair share of them. What is truly disturbing is that a growing number of people, educated and intelligent people, have actually bought into their fear-mongering mandate. There are articles published in our national newspapers, proudly defending their actions and even justifying their actions. That particular article has been shared 1500 times on Facebook alone, and that just terrifies me. I'm saddened to say that even members of my close circle of friends and family are starting to question the 'purpose' behind the halaal certification, and whether it should in fact be abolished in Sri Lanka.

 

 

To cap it off, many of you must have heard of the One Billion Rising movement that I blogged about recently. The aim was to raise awareness regarding gender based violence, and was part of an international movement that spanned all the continents. We had our own One Billion Rising movement in Colombo, and this post nicely details all the fantastic work that was done leading up to it. However, today I was shown a blog post written by an anonymous blogger, who had shared a picture of the Lipton Circus protest, and written the following:

 

"One Billion Rising..Colombo style..errr...thats more like One Hundred Rising but..hey..still..it was a good show! a show of strength a definite show of power...women power..NGO power..check the Chicks..should have gone there yesterday.. could have definitely hit on one of those loose NGO women...could have had a different V. Day then!!!"

 

What follows are a series of anonymous comments, basically ridiculing the protest, claiming the protesters don't know anything about women in urban areas because they are from the English speaking middle class, that they are a 'pathetic bunch of stooges who dance to the tune of some organisations from the West', and that this is all a publicity stunt for 'patrons living in a cool Western country'.

There are more bizarre ravings involving government conspiracies, but I don't want to go on, and I don't want to link to them either since I don't want their idiocy to be advertised.

 

 

Bottom line: There are crazy people out there; that's a given. What I can't understand is how their numbers seem to be growing. I can't understand how every time I log on to Facebook there is more evidence of people whom I call 'friends' sharing all this extremist nonsense. I can't understand how  normal people, brought up in multicultural environments, can say and do the most insensitive things in public forums. I can't believe the voice of reason, peace, love and understanding is the one in the minority.

 

 

God help us all.

Hate Speech In Sri Lanka: Why Are We Still Listening?

We all have experience with crazy people. They're normal, in almost every way, except that tiny little thing that sets them off, and before you know it you're wondering how this person managed to escape the asylum.

This post isn't about those people. God knows that just like taxes and Enrique Iglesias, no matter how hard you'd like for them to just disappear, you make peace with it because you know they're not going anywhere.

This post is about the crazy people that get put on a pedestal and asked for their 'opinions'.

Today I read this post, titled "Laws and religion - some concerns for Sinhala Buddhists" written in the local Daily News. In it, the writer - one Shenali Waduge - goes on a point by point defense of Sinhala Buddhists from the wily and scheming attacks against them, especially the claims that they are 'racists', 'extremist' and even 'militant'.

This, to me, is just laughably absurd. See, there are a lot of people at risk in our little island paradise. Depending on your gender, orientation, politics, religion, mother tongue, upbringing, or just your appearance, there is a real danger which lies under the surface of day to day life. However, the members of the Sinhala Buddhist majority are not one of them. Yet, the writer goes on to paint a picture of a systematic campaign to not only destroy the entire section of the community, but to introduce a new wave of 'Muslimized' converts to rule the land. It's a beautiful tale of intrigue and conspiracy, not unlike which we have seen on TV shows such as "Homeland", but like those shows, this too is just another piece of sensationalist fiction.

 

Let's break down some key quotes.

 

 

"There is little to challenge that freedoms and rights have been enjoyed by Tamils (11 percent) and Muslims (9 percent) and it is because of the rights they enjoy that minorities have been able to openly bring up issues."

 

I wonder what the writer means by 'openly bring up issues', because there are few things that are 'open' in Sri Lanka, least of all anything that has to do with negative press. Just last week there was a violent protest outside of the No Limit department store, a Muslim owned enterprise, by a radical group of so-called 'patriots' calling for a boycott of the store because of it's ownership. There were violent clashes, and the police were involved, yet not a single iota of this incident made it to any of the local papers. So much for openly bringing up issues.

 

"Sinhalese Buddhists are concerned because Buddhist cultural heritage is being destroyed, Buddhist archeological and historical cultural monuments are being destroyed"

 

This is an interesting point to make, considering a large portion of this crimes have been traced back to Buddhist monks raiding their own temples of relics. The most popular story last year was the case of the Kotte double murders, where a Nilame of another temple was found to be the mastermind behind the heist that went wrong, leading to the death of two monks who were unfortunate enough to identify the criminals. Then there was the bizarre case of the mob led by a Buddhist monk that stole a deity from a Hindu temple in broad daylight up north. These are just a few cases I can think off off-hand which have made it to the news, while other reports have always linked ex-military men and deserters to these temple thefts. I haven't heard anything about secret Muslim strike squads and Christian ninjas infiltrating temples to steal things.

 

"We are concerned because the growing number of Sharia Law courts that were never present in Sri Lanka previously. When Muslims had been following the Sri Lankan laws for decades, why should there be a sudden need for a Muslim only law? Why should 9 percent of the population have a separate law when as citizens of Sri Lanka, Muslims must abide by Sri Lanka’s laws?"

 

Sharia law, after some light research, has been in effect for quite some time. The main purpose of these courts in Sri Lanka are to settle Muslim marriage disputes, which are governed by a different set of laws. As far as I know, there have not been any legal issues between the State and the Sharia courts regarding Sharia law since all the parties involved are Muslims, and as such it doesn't affect the remaining 91% of the population as the writer states. How then is this a national issue that affects Sinhala Buddhists? Are Sinhala Buddhists marrying Muslims and then getting the short end of the stick? Since these courts are mainly community based and are set up primarily in towns that are of majority Muslims, doesn't the writers argument go against her?

"We are concerned about extremist demands like loud speakers which does not constitute a fundamental right – speakers are only an electronic tools, a recent phenomenon."

You have got to be kidding me. Demands for loudspeakers? Buddhist temples and mosques basically have a chanting war every single day, and I'd like to see either party decide to lay aside their weapons of noise pollution even for an evening. Labelling this as an extremist course of action is sort of hypocritical, surely.

 

"Even Muslim owned supermarkets that caters to all communities shut down for prayers on Friday. "

 

Seriously, this is about as consequential as complaining about those Liberty Plaza stores that close for lunch. Seriously, national issue? Attack on Sinhala Buddhist way of life? Seriously?

 

"We question how peaceful Islam is when almost all the major conflicts in the World are Muslim-oriented and end up Muslims killing each other due to sectarian violence far more than the damage the West does with their air warfare."

 

I just. I mean. What the. I can't. Huh?

 

"It has become a practice for both Muslims and Tamils to hide their follies and wrongs behind the cry of “ethnic discrimination”, “hate campaigns” to cover up accusations made against them. It has worked well to camouflage their ulterior motives by internationally promoting Sinhalese Buddhist as “extremists” and using the power of money to spread the news via media. It has been convenient to quote “compassion” of Buddhism and ridicule Buddhists when they attempt to stop Islamic expansionism by bring the truth to the public"

 

From what I have read so far in this article, the so-called 'follies' and 'wrongs' are closing shops for prayers, loudspeakers and for exercising their faith. What Ms.Waduge fails to mention are the numerous acts of mob violence against the Muslim community, including the Dambulla incident last year when Buddhist monks stormed a mosque, disrupted their prayers and protested outside, demanding that the mosque be demolished. True to form, the 'majority' held firm and the mosque has been slated to be demolished and relocated, despite the fact that it has been legally registered more than 50 years ago and has never incited any form of communal disharmony until then. Does this sound like justice to you, oh mighty majority?

 

This doesn't even take into account the various unreported incidents of churches being attacked around the country by Buddhist monks and their goons. I have come to know of several of these through people we know, with some even being attacked simply for having a gathering of Christians at their home every Sunday. This somehow, never makes it to the news. Last year there was a report of valuable stained glass windows being destroyed in a small secluded church down South by - you guessed it - our friendly non-racist non-extremist protectors of Buddhism, yet that too never made it to the news! Are you starting to see the trend? Majority for the win!

The rest of the article goes on to detail the secret plan Muslims have for taking over the country. It's a convenient four step strategy, involving such things as migrating to a host country and keeping a low profile, before seeking representation (the nerve!) in all spheres and then having the gall to file lawsuits against 'Islamaphobia', converting citizens secretly against their will and then holding the host country and religion 'hostage' before declaring it a Muslim theocracy.

 

 

 

Look; the entire article is completely bonkers. It sounds like someone on a bad acid trip, or some kind of low budget sci-fi movie, and what's even worse is that the writer identifies with the crazy people she is defending. I'm sad to say that this isn't the first time I'm hearing people speak like this, and a 5 minute search on Facebook will uncover a massive number of pages dedicated to similar extremist, racist, militant thinking. Yet, to find sensationalist, fear-mongering dribble published in a national newspaper is inexcusable! When our media is controlled to such a point that people have now forgotten there is anything north of Anuradhapura except free food and joyous Tamil families playing hopscotch with the Army, any platform given to mad men/women like this writer is negligent and just intolerable. The entire article compares Sri Lanka to radical Muslim states and rules such as those held in Saudi Arabia. Why can she not understand that we are not to hold ourselves to such low standards, but instead aspire to be a free nation that doesn't have to militantly put down the minority when they try to seek representation? Yes, there are Muslim states with grave injustices being carried out, but is that an excuse to conduct our own form of terrorism on their communities in our country? What kind of playground mentality is this?

 

Bottom line: there are crazy people out there, but it's our job as a sensible, peace-loving community of intelligent adults to refuse them a platform to spread their hate-filled message. In that respect, and in the light of this (and other) article(s) written by writers such as Shenali Waduge, we have failed miserably.

To All You Rapists

The woman and a male friend, who have not been identified, were traveling in a public bus in the Indian capital, New Delhi, after watching a film on the evening of Dec. 16 when they were attacked by six men who raped her. They also beat the couple and inserted an iron rod into her body resulting in severe organ damage. Both of them were then stripped and thrown off the bus, according to police.

(Source:  TIME World)

I haven't blogged in a long time, but this was enough to spur me to break my silence.

I'm getting really tired of hearing the same old arguments in connection with abuse against women and sexual assault. I'm sick of hearing about her underage drinking, about her partying, about her drug use, about her tiny skirts, about her many sexual partners, about how it wasn't "legitimate rape".

So listen up, priests, ministers, policemen, bus drivers, layman and even some of you women - you can sit and debate - debate - the so-called ethics and 'moral code' regarding men and women's attire and behaviour. You can debate lifestyles, you can debate all of these things.

But there is no argument in heaven or earth, no argument from any religious text, no argument from any corner, no conceivable scenario that justifies or excuses a man from sticking anything, be it his dick or a metal rod, into a woman's vagina. By even trying to do so, you are joining the side of the rapist. You are siding with the RAPISTS!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT??

Got it? Good.

It has to freakin' stop. Now. 

p.s: Dear Indians; you are quick to set fire to things when cricketers fail you. Please, use this opportunity, this media spotlight, this worldwide outrage to unleash your pyrotechnics and end this lackadaisical, nonchalant, turn-a-blind-eye type of attitude towards your mothers, your sisters, your daughters. For the love of God women, please make it stop.

We Are Too Lazy To Stay Alive: An Environmental Rant

Sri Lanka is often advertised as a nation of smiling people, too cool to be bothered by the stress and strife of modern life, blithely relaxing under coconut trees just waiting to chuck up what they're doing to go bum around at the beach. Our chillingly high suicide rate, increased rape and abuse statistics seem to go against that fiction, but except for all the people trying to kill themselves and/or assault others, we're a "happy-go-lucky" bunch apparently.

This does not necessarily translate well in real life situations; in fact, it more often than not comes across as extreme apathy.
 

Take for example my work place. As some of you know, I work in the sustainable energy field, and my main job is to make sure we save money energy. This is not an alien concept, as most companies and organisations are now gearing towards greener practices and more environmentally conscious processes. Some of this activity is mostly genuine, while some are more PR based. No matter, I say, as long as the job gets done.

Yet, I am constantly surprised at our neglect for the environment, and our flippant attitude towards most things environmentally related. Any form of communication regarding saving energy, recycling, global warming, water and land pollution is met with a sort of glazed over look, a few nods, an empathetic sigh and a swift change of subject. Either that or enthusiastic agreement, followed by nothing.

I admit I was often part of the latter, until very recently. I never fully realised the dire situation our planet and especially our country were facing regarding the energy and environmental crisis until I started working here in this capacity. Did you know we were once almost 85% dependent on hydroelectricity, and now that percentage is closer to 50%? The rest we are now generating in our faulty Chinese coal plants. As a result, the universally cursed CEB is selling us electricity at a massive loss every single year. The demand for electricity in our country has gone up steadily over the last 7 years, with no signs of slowing down. Let's talk about garbage then; did you know that despite laws in place that clinical and hazardous waste be segregated by hospitals and relevant industries before disposal, these bags all wind up in the same land dump anyway? We neatly segregated the poisonous materials at our work place, only to have the authorities lump it together in their tractors and thrown in the same sites, eventually seeping into our water table. Did you also know that a majority of Colombo was actually marsh land? Yes, this marsh land was simply filled up and built on, which is one of the main reasons why so many areas of Colombo flood at the mere hint of rain, because the soil is just not suited for normal drainage.

Enough lectures; a lot of these issues are beyond the control of you and I, yet there is a difference between knowing these facts and actually doing something about it. I was extremely proud of, and motivated by, T when she wrote her blog posts on the tree cutting fiasco near her workplace, because despite there being so many hoops to jump through for her to get even a clue as to what was happening, she still did whatever was in her power to do. That's the kind of attitude that we need to inculcate on a larger scale.

Luckily at home my parents are somewhat energy conscious; we have a solar water heater, we've been composting for more than 17 years, and our outside lights are switched off by 730pm. My mom has set herself a monthly target bill amount for the house electricity, and is trying her best to attain it. Long distance trips are scheduled to coincide with some of the office work, so that we don't need to waste fuel with two vehicles. The list goes on, and as you can see, the list is not filled with anything very complicated.

 

Yet, when it comes to other people's resources and costs, our already disturbing apathy goes into overdrive. I stayed in a common housing while at work for a while, and I was constantly surprised at how often people would just leave the TV on and leave the room Once I came back after a late dinner to find everyone in the house asleep, but the TV still on full volume. Then there's the iron that gets left on for hours. The fridge door that isn't closed properly. The taps which are left open. 

 

After raising these points with my fellow tenants whenever I could, they slowly began to cut down on a few infringements, if only to avoid me throwing a tantrum. Still I find it hard to believe that anyone that isn't from an extremely spoiled and affluent background can't fathom the costs (both financial and environmental) that their carelessness incurs. But make no mistake: this isn't restricted to our employees. Even our environmental awareness programmes that we hold in the local schools get little or no support from the staff, simply because they feel that if you're not being 'tested' on it, it isn't worth learning. With that kind of attitude, I suppose it's no wonder my peers look at me in bewilderment as I knock off unnecessary lights while staring daggers at them.

 

Bottom line: while we push forward with all the development in our country capital, it's important to remember how fleeting our reserves of natural resources are. Mindless landfilling and constructions are not going to make us more eco-friendly. It seems that the UDA, in all its wisdom, has confused environmental 'cleanliness' with mere the more cosmetic definition of it. If the people in power can't seem to understand the difference between planting trees and painting buildings green, then it paints a rather grim picture of all our futures. So take a stand; push for better practices in your workplace and homes, your schools and colleges. Don't be the guy that reasoned that the TV would eventually switch itself off if you just stopped looking at it.

Aurora Shootings

There is something extremely chilling about the Aurora theatre shootings.

"The Dark Knight Rises" may be one of the most anticipated movies of the year; an event that many people would gladly line up for days to see. The midnight screenings must have been booked up within minutes of tickets going on sale, and understandably so; imagine being the first people in your town to see the biggest movie event of the year?

And then, with all that excitement and anticipation, just ten minutes into what was supposed to be 165 minutes of cinematic excellence, a mad man walks in with a mask, drops tear gas on the floor, and starts killing people.

The absurdity of the situation, the sheer senselessness of the act, terrifies me. 

What an evil, wicked and cruel world we live in.

(Click image for source)

How Not To Read The News, Courtesy GOLD FM

Back in the day when broadband internet was not freely available in every household, cyber-cafe's were all the rage. When I was studying in India, there were at least 4 within 50 metres of each other (it's an Asian thing I guess, opening up a store right next to another store that sells exactly the same products as you). These establishments are generally considered shady, especially since they are the perfect location for unscrupulous activities such as drug deals, assassinations, blackmail and extortion, but mostly because hormone-crazed couples gravitate to them like fat people to bran crackers.

So why did I brave the dark and dangerous world of cramped love-making alone? Simple - to catch up on the news.


Yes. I read the news.


No doubt you would think that reading the newspaper would suffice, but you would be wrong. Sure, the papers have it all well-documented, but I'm not really interested in Indian politics or what Pakistan has been up to lately, and I couldn't care less about the latest travesty of a movie Bollywood, Tollywood and Lollywood just churned out. My main interests lie in the latest NBA scores & updates, tv shows (English please), movies (likewise), music (you guessed it) and Formula 1; all of which were almost never mentioned in the newspapers.

One thing that 24 hour cable news and the internet have taught us is that the world is a very happening place. Switch to any channel and you'll hear of natural disasters, plague, murder, scandal, kidnapping, corruption, arrests, politics - the works! Even the business and sports sections are not without drama and excitement, thanks to the likes of Bernie Madoff, Caster Semenya and Max Mosley's bizarre sex life.


Which is why I am somewhat intrigued by some of our local news networks. My father plain loves the news. He wakes up to it, surfs the local news websites during work, listens to the lunch time news, listens to the hourly updates when he's driving, listens to the 830pm radio news, watches the news on TV at 9pm, and probably has dreams in the form of new bulletins ("This just in, a new law has been passed making it illegal to not own at least one two-door roadster if you're over the age of 50. Also, you can now sell your children legally...."). He buys almost all the English newspapers on Sundays, and is probably the most informed man in the district; a fact I pity him for, since according to certain news reports, there isn't much on the news these days.


My main concern it the 830pm news bulletin on Gold FM. Since this falls squarely on the sacred hour of dinner, the entire family is expected to devour our food with the least amount of auditory disturbance, be it in the form of normal conversation or even loud chewing, as my father listens intently to the happenings of this great nation - again. However, after listening to this news bulletin countless number of times, I've come to the conclusion that nothing really 'happens' here. Take for instance last night's bulletin.


[Cue drumroll and dramatic news-type music]

TOP STORY!

"President Mahindra Rajapakse said today that he would hand over a united nation to the people, but that only real men could properly serve the motherland. He said this while speaking at a random event somewhere in the island"

This would be the part where I looked at mom and mouthed "Real men?!", Mom shakes her head in disbelief and Bro bursts into a (silent) fit of laughter under the table.

LOCAL NEWS!

"The opposition leader today said that the government is trying to trick the people, and that they would not stand idly by while the government abuses the integrity of the nation. He said this while attending a rally at another random location"


"In further news, another politician that wants to get his two cents in said that foreign powers seek to destroy our great nation by spreading lies and scandal, and that we will sue the European Union for their corrupt talk. He said this while opening a primary school in Colombo"


"Also, the minister of agriculture and trade said that we have the greatest army in the world, and that foreign superpowers will bow to our greatness, even as India, China and Russia send their top army officials to learn from our valiant troops how to win the war against terror. He said this while standing in a field of daisies, as the wind blew through his hair."


"And finally, some children in several areas died due to the Rubella vaccination, another person was found dead in his home, a woman was abducted and raped in a village, but this all pales in comparison to what I've already read, so let's move along".


Then they move onto the foreign news, mispronounce ever other world leader's name, stumble onto the business news which has obviously been written by some super-nerd with a Ph.D in economics who wants to flex his academic muscle, and I'm left wondering how I could get those 15minutes of my life back.


If the news in the country is restricted to what random politicians and ministers have to 'say' on matters of the country, why bother listening? Surely we all know by now that nothing gets done by talking, and this country definitely needs people who can do more than rant and rave about the 'integrity' and 'sovereignty' of our great nation. Yet if our news bulletins frequently give these people a platform to pontificate from their pedestals, then we are only encouraging them to continue doing so. Nothing beats the torture I used to go through when the war was still on, as every night's news update had something about "freeing our people from the clutches of terrorism" or "rescuing the motherland from the grip of tyranny" and other such prose. Who comes up with this stuff?! If I were a newsreader on that show I'd at least have some one cue "audience laughter" every now and then so that the listeners wouldn't be completely blown away by the bizarreness of the content.


God bless the journalists of this country who tirelessly seek out the truth, but please, someone find the guy who writes for this radio station, stuff a sock in his throat, light him on fire and tell us the news that really matters.



EDIT: After writing this post, I've realised that while everything in this post is true, it is definitely not the rule. Sometimes, they actually DO broadcast the news. Yet, over a long period of time, I feel it is safe to say my accusations are justified.

Blog Action Day '09

Amid all the hustle and bustle of my enormously busy life, I was told that yesterday was Blog Action Day. After initially pretending I knew all about it, I found out that every October 15th the world's bloggers unite to post about one particular topic in an effort to create awareness. Now, I'm all for being aware, and though I'm not the spitting image of an 'activist' of any sorts, I decided to sign up as well. Perhaps there were a few bribes of cash and kind involved in the process, but let's move along swiftly shall we?


So I clicked on the link on Pseudorandom's blog post, and registered my blog. Lo and behold, this year's topic is none other than one I am extremely enthusiastic about - climate change. I am so enthusiastic about this, that I actually have a tag on this blog for global warming, though I would strongly suggest you don't read it if you are in fact passionate about the subject and have a poor sense of humour.


Sure I might be a bit late, but since it's still October 15th somewhere on the planet, I thought I'd write up a small post about it. I doubt I was ever very environmentally conscious while I was growing up, but in a way that is our Sri Lankan culture isn't it? However when I went to India, I started dating an extremely passionate environmentalist (sorta) and pretty soon I couldn't throw a candy wrapper away in the privacy of my room without hearing her voice in my subconscious berating me for hurting mother earth.


Yet I am grateful for that, because while I have been quite un-enthusiastic about the environment, I have always believed in doing my bit. The country we live in has so many concerns, and one of the biggest ones is protecting our environment. Recycling and re-using literally get swept under the carpet for larger more political issues, and yet no developing nation can be accused of being negligent in this department. Climate change is happening, and just looking at the smog that settles over Colombo every morning when entering the city should be enough to make you ask yourself "Surely that can't be a good thing".


In Asia, I believe that most countries have a extremely low opinion on the environment, and this is reflected in their almost blatant ignorance of the basics behind recycling and conservation. My home is probably one of the few homes in the hill capital that uses solar panels instead of a geyser for hot water, and when we tell people of it they think we're just trying to be 'posh'.


I could go on and on (well not really, I'm kinda done) but instead I'll link to an interesting post I read recently which pretty much sums up what I'm talking about!


And last but not least, before you go out and change the world, I encourage you to listen to this first.

Life, Death and Michael Jackson

Friday was a mournful day in every sense of the word. There I was, seated with my head bowed; silent and reflective, as is often the case when someone is confronted with a death. I looked around, and I could see a similar emotion in the eyes of those around me. When Death rears his bony head, he doesn't just take the life of the victim, he sucks a little bit out from those around as well.

Apparently it had been a heart attack, but I was hazy on the details. The doctors had worked for an hour but had been unsuccessful, and just like that the world lost a father, a husband, a human being. One minute alive and well; the next - gone.


Perhaps you think this is yet another Michael Jackson post, but that's not entirely true. Michael Jackson comes a distant second in this post.


The man I was talking about in the first paragraph was the father of one of our youth group musicians. He was just 55 years old, and yet without warning he was taken from this world, leaving behind a wife and two children, 22 and 19. Of course, I doubt that anyone would be writing about his untimely demise in the papers, nor will there be much fanfare with regards to his life. The house I was seated in on Friday afternoon was small and dilapidated, situated in some interior lane beyond Kandy. Not exactly Hollywood, if you know what I mean.


The initial reaction to the news that Michael Jackson had died was so severe that apparently it almost 'broke' Google. The international media has been a relentless onslaught of MJ madness, discussing his life and death in agonising detail, interspersed with his many music videos. Kottu was a veritable online shrine to the 'king', with a few senseless anti-MJ posts thrown in as well. Facebook is no different either; apparently they have designed a quiz to determine which Michael Jackson song best represents your life. I can't wait for someone to get "Dirty Diana".


However, what struck me the most was the depth of emotion behind MJ's death. A man that was ridiculed for the better part of the last 15 years, that hadn't released new material in 6 years, that by no stretch of the imagination was hideously disfigured after an unknown number of nose jobs, and whose music was generally considered 'so yesterday' by the masses was mourned by nearly the entire world with people breaking down in tears on television, radio and public transport. Countless parodies in the media from music videos to movies, dangling babies from balconies, and topped by the ever present child molestation charges, Michael Jackson was a superstar with issues. He made great music, I'll give him that. After listening to Chris Cornell's version of Billie Jean, I realised what amazing lyrics were behind the song. The man was blessed, and it is a shame that such talent ended up wasting away like it did.





And then I dressed up and went to the funeral of a 'real' person. A father, a husband, a hard working man that worked 7 days a week from 7am to 8pm. A man who probably sacrificed his family life just so that he could earn enough to support them. And strangely, I saw no tears. I saw no sobbing, no weeping, no children laying wreaths all over the place. His children were naturally upset, but they were not crushed. His son was in a corner laughing with his friends, discussing who was going to remove the banner that was tied across their street. There were two little girls who were running around serving tea and biscuits, giggling and laughing like it was a social event.


Makes you wonder, what is this life for? When a man that you don't know beyond posters and news articles can generate such sorrow, such unmitigated depression in some cases, despite living a lifestyle that many (until Friday) considered shameful and embarrassing, and a man that slaved for his wife and children is buried with only some "onlookers" in attendance, leaving behind a family that hardly saw the man in the last so many years.


Makes you wonder.

Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn

If I were to start blogging about serious things like politics, I would surely be shot down in a hail of virtual gunfire because my knowledge on the subject is microscopic at best. Meanwhile, in the real world, real people are being shot down by all too real gunfire, in broad daylight.


Recently I read an interesting article about how the attacks on the MTV studios was an act of patriotism. That term is being liberally tossed around with every passing day, as if the desire to see an end to the killing is in some way a measure of our love for the country.


How naive are we? The MTV studios are burned after they focussed on the suicide bombings in Colombo instead of the inroads the army had made in Kilinochchi. In the same way, Lasantha Wickramatunga, a vocal newspaper editor that has openly accused the government of corruption, is shot and killed while on his way to work.


In both cases, the government has 'appointed a committee to investigate'. Meanwhile, the US has released a statement saying that they "deplored the latest in a series of criminal attacks on the independent media in Sri Lanka and stressed that a free press that is not subjected to intimidation or violence was an essential component of any democracy". Why is it that the outside world seems to show more emotion and outrage at this than our own people?



This is the part where some smart-ass is going to question my patriotism. Screw you. I love my country. I may complain about the blatant corruption, the disorganisation, the lack of planning, the lawlessness, but I love this country. It is my home. I spent more than 5 years in India, and despite the fact that they are light years ahead of us in almost every avenue, they can never be us. There is a unique quality that I have seen only in Sri Lankan's, and despite the chaos that our nation seems to be descending into, that will never go away.

I hope.


Meanwhile, in the words of Collective Soul -

"The World I Know"

Has our conscience shown?
Has the sweet breeze blown?
Has all kindness gone?
Hope still lingers on.
I drink myself of newfound pity
Sitting alone in New York City
And I don't know why.

Are we listening?
Hymns of offering.
Have we eyes to see?
Love is gathering.
All the words that I've been reading
Have now started the act of bleeding
Into one.

So I walk up on high
And I step to the edge
To see my world below.
And I laugh at myself
While the tears roll down.
'Cause it's the world I know.
It's the world I know.

We are winning the war, but are we losing our soul......?

My Birthday, My g-Pod, My... Singing?!

And so it is finally Christmas Eve! I was planning on writing a few posts before this, but with all the hustle and bustle of last minute Christmas shopping, I completely forgot.

So this is just a quick one, to recap the last few days.

First of all, it was my birthday yesterday. Don't worry, I know you all remembered but were unable to convey your wishes due to a host of seemingly important yet highly suspicious excuses. No matter, I have now moved past the age where the thrill of getting presents keeps me awake the night before. I suppose the endless barrage of socks and 'useful presents' had something to do with that.

But then I got THIS!


So I really shouldn't complain. I love it! I love it so much that I dubbed it the 'g-Pod'; I spent almost all day fiddling with it, setting up iTunes, sorting my 11GB of music and just generally being thoroughly satisfied. Who said men are complicated?!


All in all, it was a muted birthday, which is expected considering I know no one here. Due to the convenient timing of my birthday, I have never had to bring cake to school or any other such birthday tradition. When I was in college, I never got to celebrate my birthday with them as we were always on vacation during that time. However, there was one semester when our exams were postponed and so I was in India for my birthday. It was my first semester, and I didn't know my friends that well. Imagine my surprise when, while hanging out at a friend's house, a couple of the girls came from the kitchen with a cupcake and a solitary candle, and started singing happy birthday. Someone has a picture of me holding my pint-sized birthday cake in my hand with a very confused look on my face; I'd have put it up if I had it. It is one of my favourite birthday memories, not because of anything spectacular that happened, but for the simple reason that I was remembered when I thought I wouldn't be.

But I'm rambling. It's almost Christmas! I wish you all the very best of the season, and here's hoping that no matter what presents we get tomorrow, we manage to spread the real gifts of this season - Peace, Joy and Love.

(I really must stop!)

In closing, here's my terribly amateurish rendition of "Away in a manger". Forgive the terrible video quality, my camera is slowly but surely decaying. As for the singing, well, that unfortunately is solely my fault.

Cheers!


Click here if you want to download the song instead.

Weather I'm Right, Weather I'm Wrong

As I type this post, the birds are chirping outside my window, the sky is blue, the bright sunshine is bouncing off the dew on the leaves and I'd readily believe I was dead and in heaven if it weren't for the sound of the lawnmower outside. However, just 24 hours ago, the view from this very same window was one of such gloom and darkness that had Noah experienced anything remotely close to this he wouldn't have had any trouble convincing people to jump on his ark.


The weather these days has had the temperament of a 16 year old girl on her first date ("Ok we can hold hands. No second base! OK fine a little second base. No! Let's go back to first! Ooh let's go all the way. No, don't TOUCH me! Ooh I love you...") Naturally, it's all because of global warming and the world coming to an end (or maybe it's that time of the month for Storm). But in spite of this, we still have dedicated 'professionals' that monitor the sky, cloud formations, wind speeds and millimetres of rainfall and attempt in some bizarre way to predict the weather for the next few days.


How does one become a weatherman? Seriously, how twisted and sad must your childhood be for you to want to dedicate your life to watching the sky and telling an uncaring world when it's going to rain? Imagine the strength of such a person’s convictions, as he/she bravely endures the criticism and mockery of his/her peers as they all go to law school, business school, medical school etc and he/she plods off in the direction of the meteorological school. I actually had to google that to see if there was such a thing!


It’s not like they do a good job, at least not the ones in Sri Lanka. When was the last time they got a prediction right? Wait, let me rephrase – when was the last time they made an actual prediction? Every weather forecast starts off the same way; “Scattered showers in the North, North Central, Uva, Central, Western, Southern and Sabaragamuwa Provinces”. That’s seven out of our nine provinces, and the strategic insertion of the word “scattered” means that it may or may not rain where you are. If it does, well, we told you so. If it doesn’t, well, it just got scattered somewhere else. How convenient.


Then there are the more sophisticated weather reports of CNN, BBC and the other major news networks. Here we have an intelligent looking individual with a green screen behind them and a little clicker in their hand. They smile and show us a map of the world, usually starting with Europe, and little cloud animations all over the place. If they think its going to rain, they show an animation with water drops falling. If they think it’s going to be sunny, they show an animation of the sun shining. Seriously, are we in 4th grade?! We get it, you moron!


Sometimes they show us little diagrams with lines on them, supposedly depicting hot and cold fronts that give rise to wind currents and all that jazz. They show us how over the next few days the front will move in a north-westerly direction, thus giving rise to strong winds during Tuesday and Wednesday blowing from – err – this direction to that direction. OK, so I look at their map, then get up off my sofa, point myself north and say “Ah! Tomorrow the wind will blow from the left to the right. I must make note of this when I step outside, in case I accidently point my umbrella in the wrong direction and become the black Mary friggin’ Poppins.”

While I’m sure many ‘international business men’ out there are heavily dependant on the weather updates as they jet between Tokyo and Hawaii on ‘business’, I fail to see how the weather report can become such a fundamentally important part of the world news. Of course, I can understand if there’s going to be a tornado in Florida (again) then it should be newsworthy, but other than that I just don’t get how anyone would want to know what the temperature in Cairo is today. Except the people in Cairo, and I doubt that they’re going to tune into the BBC to get a weather update on Egypt.


As I finish this post, the birds have stopped chirping, the sky has turned grey and the first few drops of the impending shower fall on the leaves outside my window. By some miracle, the weatherman has been proved correct. You got lucky this time, O dealer of ambiguity, but mark my words; one day you shall be exposed for the charlatan that you are.

The Dark One has spoken!

Global Gassing

If you've been reading this blog for a while (not that it's been around long - probably 6 months at most) then you'll know that it isn't uncommon to read a rant of mine about some accepted social or global issue such as dress codes, terrorism, movies and marriage.

Another topic that fits the above list is global warming, which in my opinion is one of the most bizarre and least understood "potential apocalyptic disasters" that are out in the world today. When I was in school back in the good ol' 90's, the Maldives was supposed go underwater in ten years. Well it did - briefly - during the tsunami, for about five minutes; but last time I checked it was still there. And the last time I checked was this February (ok I put that part in just so I could attach this picture I took - sue me!).

Yes, global warming does exist, but global warming is bizarre. And so it's only natural that we come up with bizarre ways to counter it.

According to an interesting article I came across, "The belching and farting of millions of farm animals is a major contributor to Australia's greenhouse gas emissions".

Their solution?

Eat kangaroos instead of cows and sheep. Why? Because they don't fart as much.

I swear I'm not making this up. You can't make this kind of stuff up anyways. Click the link to read it for yourself.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again - the whole world has gone stark raving mad!

Redefining Pay-Phones

My first cell phone was a blue Motorola Talkabout T180. I emphasise the 'blue' because that was by far the only redeeming quality about the phone. It was bulky, ugly, devoid of basic cell phone features save for calls and messages, had horrible ringtones and was just downright daft. But I was young, and I had just started college; the sole purpose of the phone was to stay in touch with the family back home anyway.

I had bought a SIM, and soon I was in business. I'm no techno-dinosaur, but even if I was, the simplicity of my phone meant that even one that was completely fossilised could still text and make calls with ease. However, there was one little bit of information that I wasn't quite sure about, and that was the tariff plan for my connection. I was brutally reminded of it when I made my first call back home. I spoke for about 2 minutes when the call got cut. I checked my balance and found that the small fortune that had existed on my prepaid connection (thanks to Dad) had been vapourised!

After that mortifying incident, I was much more cautious with regards to my cell phone usage. No more international calls, thank you very much! I also realised that the package I had at that time was extremely forgiving when it came to messaging - it was free! Yes, no strings attached, free messaging anywhere inside of India! Even calls between numbers of the same network were free between midnight and 6am, needless to say this spawned many late night conversations that ended only when someones battery gave up.

However, just when I was convinced I would never have to put credit in my phone again, the service providers suddenly decided to change their scheme to one that didn't have 'happy hours' for calls and which charged for messages! Within days, every single one of my friends that had this connection were broke. Since messaging had always been free, people were unable to suddenly break their 200 messages/day habits, and as a result ended up paying for it - literally.

Which brings me to the point of this post - what is up with telecom providers? Today's call rates are about as predictable as a game of Russian Roulette. Every country has different tariffs and plans, every provider has different packages, every segment of the day has a specific rate - it's enough to drive a man into resorting to smoke signals! In India, all incoming calls to mobiles are free. In Dubai, all local land line calls are free. In Australia, sending an international text message is only a fraction cheaper than making an international call. In China if you speak too long, the police arrest you for noise pollution.

I can understand the need for different providers to promote different packages compared to their competitors, so as to attract the market. But surely there should be some form of sense here! Instead, while one telecom provider boasts great coverage and crystal clear voice clarity, the other promises to pay you when you receive a call. No, that is not a typo.

But what bothers me the most is the almost random IDD call rates. For some reason, calls to the US and to the UK are ridiculously cheap when compared to other countries. Not that I have anyone to call in either country (though I'm working on it!) but the point still stands!

Allow me to demonstrate - let's assume I have a certain special someone in India. For the sake of argument, let's also assume that I feel the burning need to call her as often as possible. It would cost me Rs.15 per minute with my current connection. Now, let's assume she visits her parents in, say, Kuwait. Once again, because of my burning need (to call her, to CALL her!) I pick up my phone and dial. But wait, according to my tariff plan, the call will cost me exactly twice the amount it did when she was in India! But what's even more interesting is that if she decided to vacation in the Bahamas, travel half way across the world to the States or accidentally end up on a plane to Iceland, that call would be a lot cheaper than if she travelled to the Gulf! Calling Iceland is cheaper than calling the Gulf! In fact, calling Iceland is cheaper than calling India!

I'm sure there's a perfectly technical and acceptable reason for all this, involving satellites and economics and exchange rates - and then they'll tell me calls to certain mobile carriers in Uganda entitle me to free pedicures. That makes total sense.

Bizarre Beijing Bulletin

Its not often that I stumble upon something so bizarre that I decide then and there to add it to the blog, but like my earlier post stated, these olympics have just given me more than enough material.

Click here to read a short and somewhat bizarre article which was posted on Yahoo Sports.


Oh but there's more - click here for something equally interesting.


And one more - click here for the icing on the cake!


You gotta love the Olympics!

Beijing Blues

We are bang in the middle of the month of August; and as expected, the gaze of the entire world has been on China for the Beijing Olympics. Well, not quite; our attention has been somewhat divided between the little crisis in Georgia (i.e. the war) and the fact that Madonna is now 50! But despite all this the air has been full of general camaraderie, sportsmanship, brotherly love and – smog.

Yes, smog. The IOC may consider themselves akin to the Greek gods of old, since they hold the power to designate the host country for each of the games. However, this time they must have had a bit o pot between them, because they seemingly dismissed the perpetual haze that hovers over Beijing as “smoker’s vision” and bestowed the honour of hosting the 2008 games to them. Little did they know that it wasn’t just the air that would give off a foul aroma during the games.

This edition of the summer Olympics has been full of controversy from day 1. In fact, it started well before the spectacular opening ceremony commenced, with athletes from several contingents expressing their concern about the air quality in Beijing. Using air filters and other technology, it was determined that the pollution was eleven times higher in Beijing than any other metropolitan city in the Europe or the Americas. One news reporter travelled to the Great Wall of China, some 40kms away from Beijing, and recorded the air quality there. It was found to me much better – it was only six times more polluted than London. Naturally, the Chinese authorities went into panic mode and shutdown most of the major power plants inside the city, as well as any other industrial zones. They even went so far as to limit the number of cars that could enter the city per day. Then, just to add extra oomph to their intentions, they issued a decree stating that each vehicle could only enter the city once every 48 hours.

This seemed to satisfy the IOC, who thought they could now relax. That was not to be, as bang on cue, the freedom of the press was put into question. Once again, several reporters complained of harassment by the Chinese authorities, who refused to allow them to video or interview any of the thousands of protesters that were demonstrating against the regime that was in power.

Once again, the government stepped in and allocated specific ‘protest areas’ where demonstrations could go on unheeded. However, to enter those areas one had to register themselves; mysteriously, those people would find themselves in jail the next day for jaywalking.

Oh but there’s more! The Spanish basketball team caused a stir by posing for a team photo while making what appeared to be a racial gesture. The fallout was somewhat muted, and the Spanish team didn’t seem to take it too seriously either, issuing a simple apology and not bothering to justify themselves further. And in keeping with national unity, another picture of the Spanish tennis team surfaced with them making the same gesture. Brilliant.

Could things get any worse? Definitely! A Swedish wrestler is controversially disqualified in a semi-final bout, and his opponent goes on to win the gold. He subsequently wins his bronze medal match, but throws his medal down on the podium as he receives it and walks away. Apparently, he “was aiming for the gold. Nothing else matters”. Sportsmanship at its peak. He was later stripped of his bronze medal too. A fitting punishment, considering he never took it in the first place, don’t you think?

But the crowning glory of Olympic cock-ups has to be the Chinese gymnastics team. It is a well known fact that younger girls are more supple and flexible, thus giving them an edge in gymnastic events. That’s why the IOC has set a minimum age of 16 for the games. Forcing anyone younger to compete would be deemed cruel and inhuman, as their bodies are not yet completely formed.

Enter the Chinese team, with girls that all look like they should still be playing with dolls and studying 8th grade math instead of competing for their country. Mysteriously though, they all have passports that show they are all 16 years old or older. Chinese girls obviously mature later – like around 30. (Click on the link, it makes for interesting reading)

A wise man once said that the world had gone mad. Well, actually he said it many times, and that man was me. But when the Olympics, of all things, cannot escape controversy and instead becomes a “bird’s nest” of unsportsmanlike behaviour, can you disagree with me, I mean, ‘him’?

Lets all look forward to London 2012, where Afghanistan wins gold in the shot putt by throwing a land mine 70 metres into the players tent and killing everyone. Perhaps the IOC will give him a stern warning and force him to shave his beard in apology.

Darkside Daily 2.0 : The Return

After an extremely long break, Darkside Daily is back. Yes, I must apologise for my long absence, but even jobless bloggers have a life that needs attention now and then. So it was with some relief I sat down at my computer today to type this new post. Did I miss much?

Well it seems I did; actually it depends on how you look at it. The last three weeks have been quite newsworthy in every respect. There’s the devastation in China, Sharon Stone’s extremely ill-timed ‘karma’ comments, the U.S. elections, the conclusion of the much publicised and highly lucrative Indian Premier League and the rumours regarding the birth of Brangelina’s twins.

Yet despite all this, I picked up a newspaper the other day that had somehow or the other managed to ignore all this and run a front page headline that read “Man dies of sexual asphyxia”.
What?! What does that even mean??

Apparently a German man working for an Indian company was found dead in his apartment. As shocking as that may be nothing could prepare you for the details surrounding his death. The victim was found half naked, without his pants, lying on his bed with albums of pornographic material scattered all around him. The official statement is that the man had saluted the flag a bit too patriotically, thus resulting in his untimely demise. The article then went into great and unnecessary detail describing sexual asphyxia, the act of reaching climax by strangulation and oxygen deprivation.

Are you kidding me?! No wonder they say fact is stranger than fiction; you can’t make stuff like this up!

We at Darkside Daily try to moderate our posts so as not to cause offense to any of our readers. (All three of ya’ll.) So instead of discussing disturbing sexual practices or inviting you to send in your entries for “Least Offensive Epitaph” for the above story, we have decided once again to delve into the movie industry.

Recently I was lucky enough to get to see the summer blockbuster “Iron Man”. “Iron Man” has done exceptionally well at the box-office, and it’s easy to see why. The movie stars Robert Downey Jr., an actor who is very much at home with roles involving wit and sarcasm, and blends a comic book hero with the real world almost seamlessly. It’s one of those movies that came out at exactly the right time; the world is very aware of weapons of mass destruction and terrorists (thank you, Mr.Bush) and the entire concept of Iron Man revolved around advanced technology, something that was portrayed in an exceedingly believable manner in the movie, thanks to the use of some very nifty CGI. Add to that the surprisingly good looking Gwyneth Paltrow (sorry, not a fan!) and a very cool soundtrack, and its easy to see why this movie has done so well. Another trick Hollywood has used in this instance is the magic of the sequel. No longer are directors and writers restricted by the 120-minute maximum duration that a movie can run; now its enough just to give a taste of what is to come and spread the entire weight of the story between three movies and label it a ‘trilogy’. “Iron Man” is one such example; the ending of the movie basically had ‘SEQUEL’ written all over it in big bold letters.

Now, I’m not against Hollywood’s newfound love for the sequel. I agree that there are some stories that cannot be told within the confines of a conventional movie. Some examples that come to mind are the Lord of The Rings trilogy and the Bourne trilogy. Despite being of different genres, both trilogies were true epics and could not have been told within three hours. Then of course there is the Star Wars saga, spanning six movies and close to 30 years as well. Somehow I never found it as engrossing as I had been led to believe it would be; maybe I’m just too young to appreciate the magic of creating a Star Wars movie in the 70’s.

But then there are the unnecessary sequels, the ones that are written solely to milk the success of the first movie and have no intention of creating anything new and fresh. Big Momma’s House 2? Seriously?! Van Wilder 2?! Dumb and Dumberer?! These movies are made for no other reason except to trick viewers into believing that they’ve created something as funny or as memorable as the first movie. That’s like gifting a nine-year old the same bicycle you gave him for his eighth birthday; except in a different colour.

Then there are the movies that were intended to be part of a trilogy but were just flat out failures. Yes, behind the production of these movies, someone actually had enough brains to say “No, even a deranged monkey would not want to watch another instalment of THAT movie!” Some examples that come to mind are Daredevil, The Hulk and Elektra. As you might have noticed, the comic book movie, or combo-movie is often associated with this category.

And finally, there are sequels that were made to resurrect the franchise. Of late there have been a lot of these, and at first I was extremely sceptical about them. For example, when I heard that Rocky Balboa was coming out, I almost laughed. The last time Sly had suited up to play Rocky he was wearing a silly black hat through the movie. It was a total disaster of a Rocky flick, and I never forgave him for it. Another such disaster was the fourth instalment of the Batman movies, the creatively titled ‘Batman and Robin’. I am an avid fan of the Dark Knight (hence the logo) and to me, watching Batman and Robin reminded me of the scene from “Hart’s War”, when the Germans found the radio that the American POW’s had painstakingly assembled, and then went on to destroy it in front of their faces. It was an extremely painful memory. Right about the time I heard about Rocky Balboa, someone told me that Die Hard 4.0 was coming out too. Seriously?! Bruce Willis refuses to die, AGAIN??

But time has shown that all three franchises ended extremely successfully. Rocky Balboa was an amazing rollercoaster ride of emotions, and is still one of my favourite movies. Die Hard 4.0 was extremely well done, and brought Bruce Willis enough fame and money to be enable him to date and dump a series of gorgeous models half his age. “Batman Begins” turned into one of the biggest blockbusters of the year, bringing back a franchise that was declared dead years ago, and also paving the way for the much anticipated “Dark Knight” which is due to release this July.

Yes, the world of movies is changing. Gone are the days when a movie was treated as an individual piece of art. Hollywood has evolved, and soon every movie will come with a standard sequel-option, wherein the ending of every movie will be either vague enough or inconclusive enough to support the production of a sequel, depending on its performance at the box-office. In a way it has become similar to TV shows, where every season ends with a cliff hanger, and depending on ratings the networks decide whether to continue with the series or just scrap it and make a reality show.

So, in keeping with the subject of this post: “WHAT IS NEXT FOR DARKSIDE DAILY? WILL READERS BE FORCED TO ENDURE POINTLESS POSTS FOR MUCH LONGER? WILL WE EVER FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT GERMAN WANKER? TUNE IN NEXT WEEK TO FIND OUT! SAME TIME, SAME CHANNEL!”