Oversmarting: We're Not As 'Smart' As We Think We Are

The advancement of technology these days is remarkable not just because of the achievement itself, but because of the way it is trickling down to the average consumer. Over the last 20 years, technology that was once restricted to either the very wealthy or to specialists from a certain field have been finding applications in day-to-day appliances. For decades, technical breakthroughs from Formula 1, rally racing etc have made their way into your Volkswagen parked outside, in the form of power steering, ceramic brakes, automatic gearboxes and the like. The same can be said of computers; today, the latest processors from Intel or GPU's from Nvidia can be found on your desktop or in your smartphone within a few months.

With this sudden ease of access to high end technology, it's not uncommon to find people oversmarting themselves.

"Oversmarting"? Yes, I just made that word up. It means to needlessly procure or use technology, be it electronics or computing, that one is either unable or incapable of using for its designed purpose.

This is a common issue these days, especially at the work place. If someones colleague buys a smartphone, it's not long before they are looking to 'outsmart' said colleague by getting something more expensive and feature rich. "Oh you got a Blackberry? Well I got a Blackberry with a higher number. Oh you did too? Mine is a Blackberry 'Curve'. Oh yours is a Blackberry 'Bold'? Well I've got... err... "

Lets talk about smartphones and Blackberrys. Look, not everyone is going to need a Blackberry. I for one have no need to be informed of work emails after office hours, nor do I have a network of Blackberry users to whom I can communicate using BBM. Hence, I won't be getting one. My father does need this facility, but he doesn't like phones with tiny buttons and tiny screens, so I've made sure he doesn't get one either. The same goes for smartphones, but this hasn't been followed at my workplace - first a deputy manager buys a Galaxy S2, then another manager gets the same phone, then another manager buys an iPhone 4, then another goes abroad and gets an unlocked iPhone 4S, and then two more managers get the Galaxy Note. Out of all these people, perhaps only two know how to use their phones properly i.e., more than just calling and texting. You don't buy a Galaxy Note if you're not going to use the Note's massive screen and the stylus that comes with it for notes, presentation edits etc; you might as well play table tennis with it instead.

Of course, after finally getting these dream phones, they have the arduous task of figuring out how to actually use them. Just the other day I noticed one of them fumbling around, desperately trying to figure out how to add a contact to his phonebook on his iPhone. Here's what he did:

1. Opens dialer, types the number.
2. Closes dialer, reopens and types again.
3. Calls number and quickly cuts.
4. Re-opens dialer, dials number again and deletes number.
5. Goes to call log, clicks on outgoing call and adds to phonebook.
6. Types name wrong at least ten times due to keyboard errors.
7. Adds the same number twice to same contact.
8. Deletes one number.
9. Calls number to make sure name shows up.

This isn't restricted to phones though. As I've mentioned before, there are now a lot of people who feel that a simple point-and-shoot camera will no longer suffice, even though the only pictures they take are the kind where they point it at themselves from arms length, or into a bathroom mirror. Never mind that they've never even used all the 'scene' modes on their tiny Canon, they believe that only a complicated DSLR will be able to handle their photographic creativity. This is as practical as buying a 42 inch LED TV for your toilet because you get bored while taking a dump. Try a newspaper, Richie Rich.

 

Of course, expensive items such as iPhones and fancy gadgets have always been perceived more as symbols of status rather than solely tools to increase productivity. We've seen it before in the form of MP's buying Range Rovers and those stripped down army jeeps with the big tyres just to cruise around Independence square real fast, or people who buy $2000 laptops so their kids can play games on them. However, if you're not one of those people, then you need to seriously look at your gadgets and think "Do I really need this, and if so, am I going to use it to its full potential?". If the answer to both of those questions is 'no', then for the love of technology, don't do it!

Remember, the Flintstones were just as cool as the Jetsons.

Step Away From The Computer.. Slowly.

We are living in a very technologically advanced age, and we should be grateful for that. Here I am, blogging on my laptop, while in the background I'm live streaming an NBA game happening across the world, listening in on thousands of peoples instant reactions to the same game via Twitter, sharing my opinions through my smartphone while on the go - and this is all rather low-tech by today's standards. Just the other day, my twitter feed suddenly erupted about some basketball player performing an insane dunk in the game. Literally 5 minutes later, the video had been uploaded to Youtube and I was able to see it for myself. Five minutes!

You can check it out here by the way; quite aptly known as "The dunk that broke twitter".

We're starting to see things in real life that have only been imagined in movies and science fiction. Fantasies which were once envisioned for decades or centuries in the future are being tentatively showcased at expos in Korea and Japan as we speak. Just ten years ago, it would have been almost impossible to imagine the technology that is now available at my very own fingertips.

But with every giant step for mankind, there are the odd negatives.

We can all agree that the internet has radically changed our lives, be it in the form of entertainment, information, research, networking or communication. But thanks to the internet, how many of us go to the library anymore? In fact, it's not just educational reading that has suffered; nowadays reading a book can take what is now considered an ungodly amount of time, especially since we are used to short and sweet bursts of information through internet reading.

In fact, the attention span of the average individual has drastically reduced in the recent few years. Even watching a full length movie is a chore, because we're so used to 30 min condensed stories in the form of TV shows on-demand. Writing emails are laborious tasks, especially since a simple 'poke' on Facebook or a short "Whats up?" on someones wall would suffice. Reading newspapers are just so complicated. I mean, how do you hold all these sheets of paper together? Argh, it's SO much easier to just click links! As for actual letter writing? Who does that anymore? I know some people who were incredulous that the job they were applying for required an actual snail mail letter instead of an email application.

This really annoys me. It's almost as if no one has the patience to do anything even remotely time consuming. We plan our trips so that we're back home in time for our favourite show. We are appalled that some actions in life require actual physical interaction, such as bank transactions. Exercise is too much work. I mean, 6 months for a 6 pack? Please - everyone is looking for how to lose weight in 3 weeks, how to get a beach body in 15mins a day, and how to get in shape by sitting on the couch and letting a machine vibrate against your pot belly.

It irks me. I was reminded about my Malaysia trip last year, where we pretty much backpacked for a week. Being cut off from the internet and luxury in general was a pleasant break. I sat with my two friends late into the night, talking and laughing more than I had in years, mainly because I had never taken the time to do so while in my routine-filled life back home.

I recommend that we all try this every now and then. No, not go to Malaysia and go on 3 day hikes. I mean, take a time-out from our speedy lifestyles and just find the time to relax and reconnect with the physical world around us. Talk to people, read a book, go for an actual walk instead of running on a treadmill. Get some fresh air.

Live.

Butt-Billboards: Signs Of The Times?

Do you believe in signs? You know, those little incidents that foretell coming doom; small inconsequential nothings that, when ignored, turn into harbingers of death or divine signals of assent?



I don't. Well, that's not true - I do when it suits me. When I kept failing exams when I stayed up all night to study, I took it as a sign that God wanted me to rest more. When my discman broke, I took it as a sign to lobby for an mp3 player. When my mp3 player - well, nothing happened to it yet, but I still want the new iPod nano!



Anyway, yesterday something definitely was trying to speak to me. However, I feel I can be excused for not taking it seriously, because my sign was on someone else's ass.

What is with women's jogging pants that have words written across the butt area? Women say we have only one thing on our mind and don't respect them for "who they are inside" (or something), and then they go and buy jogging pants with "juicy" written across their ass. Even if the most decent and non-perverted person (me) came across one of those, he would have to stare at her ass just so that he could read what was written! Evil. Then there are those instances when the 'butt-billboard' says something that makes no sense whatsoever. I remember when one of my friends introduced his girlfriend to the boys. She was nice, very attractive, but as they were leaving we noticed she had '1994' written across her ass. This spawned a half hour discussion filled with good and not so good humour on what that date could signify (Date of manufacture? Best before date? Hit counter?)

Yesterday while in Colombo I saw a girl wearing one of those pants. This time, it read "Justice". This was even more bizarre then "1994", and I was forced to repeatedly look back just to make sure it said 'justice' and not 'just ice' or something. Little did I know that this was my 'sign'.

I was looking for a new graphics card for my PC, and I had my mind set on the nvidia 8600GT. After going store hopping, I finally found a place that offered it for a very reasonable price. So I go to the ATM, check if I have the financial stability to survive this onslaught on my accounts, and head back to the store all glowing. A different sales person meets me, and I tell him I'm here to buy the 8600GT. He takes it out and says "Here you go. Oh but this isn't real".

"Excuse me?" I say, "what do you mean?"

"It's fake. Made in China."

"But it says 'Nvidia GeForce 8600GT' on the box!!"

"Yes. It's fake. Wait a minute"

He then calls someone who extracts a large glossy box from some hidden counter and passes it to him.

"This is the real thing. This one is very good, great performance, solid capacitors used."

"And the other one is fake?! Ok, how much is the original?" I ask, though my heart was already sinking with dread.

"Twice the price of this one" he says, deflating my hopes and demolishing my measly budget.

After much deliberation and repeated pleas of "Are you sure?!", I decided to pass on this fake card, simply because even the sales person was not convinced of it's performance and there was no way I was blowing my limited funds on a chance like that. I left the store, but not before thanking the sales person for his honesty.

Then we went to this new Indian restaurant for lunch. I was in the mood for some good Indian biriyani, and so were the rest of the family, so we agreed to get three portions of chicken biriyani.


"Three biriyani's", we tell the waiter, as visions of a nice heavy Indian meal flood my senses.

"Ok. Chicken?", he asks.

"Yes."

"Ok. Err. By the way, it is fried chicken ok?"

"Eh?!"

"In the biriyani. Fried chicken."

Apparently, this so-called 'authentic' Indian restaurant served a very un-Indian chicken biriyani, one where the chicken was not cooked in the biriyani but was just deep fried and added to the rice later. Now, let me just mention here that my mom is Indian and my dad has studied in India, so they both know quite a deal about Indian food, and so they proceeded to destroy the waiter. The poor guy apologised, and suggested other dishes we could try instead.

After taking our new order, I couldn't help but wonder what was wrong with universe. I'm so used to people trying to cheat me at every corner that it was unnerving and confusing to come across not just one but two incidents where someone actually was honest with me!

Justice indeed. I'm paying more attention to them butt's from now on!

I Don't Speak Internet-ish

After years of text messaging, missed calling, emailing, forwarding, chatting, nudging, buzzing and smiley kissing (and that's all you'll hear about THAT), I have come to the painfully obvious conclusion that I am terrible at all of them. Well, perhaps terrible is not the right word. I'm not like one of those old ladies you see in church who, on hearing a cell phone ring during the service, stare accusingly at everyone around them for a good ten minutes before realising that the ringing is coming from their own handbag.

However, this age of digital communication annoys me. I love it, and I hate it. Being able to talk to someone halfway across the world is a great thing. Reading a text message filled with Dan Brown style code from your friend in the next room is not so great. Yet I am no technological dinosaur, I am quite adept at all the above mentioned arts. I've even developed the uncanny ability to type in the dark; this being the result of many clandestine late night online rendezvous.

But I stumbled onto a problem. Let's be honest, even though we have taken text messaging, emoticons and smileys to dizzying heights over the last 5 to 10 years, not every emotion can be represented by a key stroke. For example, there is no way to really effectively convey sarcasm through text conversations.

And sarcasm is my bread and butter!

Many times my friends have been offended by something I've typed, mainly because the only way to show them I'm being sarcastic is to actually type out "I'm being sarcastic", and let's face it - that pretty much defeats the purpose of being sarcastic.

Another problem with text conversations - we never speak the way we type. Have you ever noticed that having an online conversation with someone can 'sound' completely different from a real conversation with the person? I once was introduced to a friend but only got to spend a little time with her. However, I added her on Yahoo and we started to talk. Lo and behold, the rather mature and intelligent girl that I had met just a few weeks before had disappeared behind a stream of LOL's and hahahahahaha's and ROFL's! All I had to say was "Oh hello there!" and she would burst out in laughter and grins! Seriously, I'm not THAT funny!

In a world where Internet love is now considered to be possible and marriage proposals are made via web cam, I find myself becoming an increasingly outnumbered sceptic of it all. I for one only type "hahaha" when I'm actually laughing (or at least chuckling!). I send a grin across only when I'm actually grinning. This too has got me in endless trouble, because whenever my girlfriend starts complaining about something, I end up sending back a ':)' which is what I would do in real life, except of course it would be an 'understanding smile'. She however assumes that I find her problems funny and I am suddenly labelled insensitive. What am I supposed to do, type out "I am smiling write now with understanding at your predicament, and I am also slowly nodding my head whenever you finish typing a line to signal my agreement with your statements".

But this is my personal favourite. When someone is telling you a story, or complaining about something, you listen. I'm a good listener, if I do say so myself. I wait till they've completely vented, and I make sure that I don't interrupt and ruin their flow. Try doing that online though. After a few lines I suddenly get a "hello? are you there?!". Of course I'm here, where else would I be?? Then they continue, but they've lost their flow of thought, and now they're conscious that maybe they're boring me. Again, what do I do? Is it my fault that my well mannered silence is mistaken for a faulty Internet connection?! Ah I know - [this smiley indicates that I am listening to you with great attentiveness, while simultaneously holding your hand and saying "There, there.."].

Yes, I know there are web cams and voice chats etc, but in this day and age, asking a girl if she can switch on her web cam is the equivalent of asking her to perform a private strip show for you. I guess I'm just going to have to make some new short forms and smileys of my own.

:-y = snide sarcastic smile

\:-I = the "you are a dumbass" look

8-D = I'm looking at you, but I'm actually staring at your breasts

BE = [brain explodes]

KMN = [kill me now]

hAhAhA = [fake laughter]

I really miss you = [time to turn your web cam on]

Here's hoping these will catch on. In the meantime, I guess I'll just have to suffer.

Gaming To Work - Working To Game

I still remember the day my dad brought our first computer home. Just like any expensive purchase of his, he thought it prudent not to inform the rest of the family about it until it was literally sitting on our doorstep. Legend has it that our first car simply turned up in the driveway in similar fashion, with my dad at the wheel and his incredulous and dumbstruck (and later livid) wife at the front door. I was six or seven years old when the stack of boxes that held our first computer were being carried into the house. It was probably an IBM 386; after a bit of research I find it had a processor speed of 40MHz, 116MB HDD and 8192kB of RAM! The only box I could carry was a small one with 'mouse' written on it, which I was told was a mechanical toy for our cat. I'm still hazy about some of the facts, but eventually it was set up and running in my dad's office at home.

I remember my initial confusion at the purchase of this machine. What could it do? Why did dad need it? However, all those questions disappeared in a puff of DOS based graphics as soon as I was introduced to the games available on it.

Sixteen long and painful years have passed since, yet despite vast amount of change in almost every aspect of my life, I still love gaming. Every year finds me desperately attempting to keep up with the stunning leaps in PC technology; every year I end up failing - miserably. Trying to keep up with the changing times is quite laudable in itself, but when the sole reason for my endeavours is the pursuit of happiness through the latest PC games, it is a bit harder to own up to. What's more, confessing that you love gaming is a little harder when you're in your 20's as compared to when you're still in high school and have a non-existent social life; yet my mind refuses to see anything wrong in it. I suppose my still non-existent social life may have something to do with that.

However, when compared with the rest of the world, my love for computer games is about as noteworthy as a postbox to the mailman. Somewhere between PacMan and World of Warcraft, gaming suddenly became an overnight celebrity so to speak. Online gameplay probably played a major role in this, and then the battle of the gaming consoles added fuel to the fire. I remember the days of the Nintendo 64, and the level of gameplay and visual brilliance it brought at the time; in just under a decade however, the N64 has evolved into the awe-inspiring Nintendo Wii. With so much to choose from, potential gamers literally drove themselves mad diving into the variety of games on offer for different platforms.

I was never a console gamer, and so this led me to pursue PC games with vigour. However, along came university in India, and my gaming was restricted to the 3 weeks I would get at home during the vacations. So now that I finally find myself with some time on my hands, I'm amazed at the savage intensity that some people have towards gaming. Just the other day I read an article about a boy who dropped out of school to pursue a 'career' in Guitar Hero gaming! Hello? Since when did gaming become a career choice? I felt like I had woken up in another dimension, one where Madonna was a legitimate role model and Miley Cyrus was the anti-christ.

But what really got to me was the Championship Gaming Series programme that airs on TV. What was once considered a past-time for teens and kids has now spawned into an international tournament, complete with media coverage, tv shows, national qualifications, general managers and the most bizarre thing of all - money! Yes these elite 'athletes' (I kid you not, apparently if you sit on a chair and rapidly move your index finger you are deemed qualified to be called an athlete!) not only have to go through 'intense physical and mental preparation' but are also required to 'display remarkable skill, reflexes, precision and commitment to compete and win on a level unmatched by other gamers'. Are you kidding me?! The most annoying thing about the show though is the general managers for the teams; watching them jump up and down in their suits and ties as they spur their team's on is just ludicrous at best! General manager of a team of teenage computer addicts without a life?! Yes, put THAT on my resume, thank you very much!

For the first time in a long time, I'm actually at a loss to express my complete and utter disgust at this so-called 'sport'! Yes, it's called sport now! What's next for gaming I wonder.

The Olympics, anyone?