When I'm not writing about my experiences in this journey called 'life', I'm singing and uploading my own interpretations of modern music. Click on "Cover Songs" to hear them, or on the YouTube logo on the right to see my YouTube channel.
This is probably not the best revelation to have about one's self, yet it is the sad truth. Most of my weekends at home are spent either attempting (and failing) to say no to Mom's cooking, or in front of the computer. Unlimited internet, especially when you work in the sticks like I do, is a luxury I must abuse when given the opportunity to.
However, last weekend my hours scouring the internet led me to a string of lovely live videos that I thought I would share with you all.
Singing and performing live is a special art, even for the accomplished performer. It isn't easy to get everything spot on with the lights, cameras and mics pointing at you, not to mention the eager audience, and that just makes these performances - in my opinion - extra special.
Enjoy!
Peter Frampton - Black Hole Sun (cover)
I love the original, which is a real rock masterpiece, but this cover almost makes the song rock out more. Fantastic, fantastic cover. The breakdown before the 3rd verse is just mind blowing.
Matchbox Twenty - You Won't Be Mine
One of my favourite songs from their second album, this hidden gem sounds even more haunting live. I recommend listening to their entire "Storytellers" set, it's really inspiring listening to how Rob Thomas wrote so many of his songs.
Boyce Avenue - We Are Never Getting Back Together (cover)
Everyone on Facebook is spazing out over the new Boyce Avenue cover of Justin Timberlake's "Mirrors" (which is great), but after listening to that song I stumbled onto this, a breathtaking cover of Taylor Swift's girl anthem. Absolutely love the harmonies here, great collaboration.
Brandon Boyd - Runaway Train
Brandon Boyd. Strings. Live. What more can I say? This is arguably better than the original.
John Legend - Dancing In The Dark (cover)
I almost didn't want to add this, because it's THAT good (if that makes any sense). John Legend reworks Springsteen's classic into a soulful ballad, combining The Boss's heartfelt lyrics with his own immense talent. It doesn't get much better than this.
Any classic live songs you've stumbled onto? Link me up in the comments!
It was a firestorm of the shortest duration, but if you spend as much time as I do on the internet you pick up things pretty quickly. Recently, a YouTube clip from the show "Amazing Race" went (slightly) viral among Sri Lankans, as it featured a 3 minute interview with two Sri Lankans who were taking part in the latest season of the show. Natalie and Nadiya Anderson are twin sisters who, from what we have since gathered, were born and brought up in Sri Lanka but are American citizens who completed their secondary and tertiary education there.
The video clip has since been removed or made private, presumably from the barrage of negative comments it has since received, so I'll try to reconstruct it from memory.
The clip was basically a short on-location interview between the show's hosts and the two girls who had just won a challenge. They appear exhausted and tired, yet jubilant after completing whatever task had been set for them. The clip starts with the host asking them what they felt about the challenge and their reaction to winning it. They respond rather enthusiastically saying how they get to experience things from "the other side", and how because they are from a "privileged" family they are not exposed to this so-called 'other side' often, and what an eye-opener this was. The word "privileged" is tossed around a little bit more, as the girls painstakingly try to show they are embracing this new "street life" despite their obvious affluence.
Now, here's where things get awkward. Somehow, in their giddiness, they mention how proud their many "servants" would be of them if they could see them now. "Servants?", the host asks, not so innocently, and the girls gladly oblige, reiterating that their "servants" would be ecstatic that the girls are seeing into their world, so to speak. The host then asks (again not so innnocently) how many servants they have, and the girls answer "many", or something of the sort. If memory serves, they go on to mention that they have one for cleaning, and one for cooking, before noticing (for the first time) that the hosts are not so amused with these tales.
By this time, one of the twins seems to have caught on that they have made a colossal blunder, and she starts to try to explain that in Sri Lanka, it is quite common for people to have - yes, she says it again - servants, and then once again mentions that they are after all from a 'privileged' family, and it is the accepted norm. The girls, in an attempt to make light of the situation, then go on to tell a story of their beloved driver Premasiri, who has been in their employ since he was 14 years old. This draws an exclamation from the host, who says, "You've had a driver since he was 14 years old, before he was old enough to get a license??". The girls, again, still laughing and giggling but not as much as earlier, try to joke about it and one of them started with "Well in Sri Lanka you don't need.. " before the other sister cuts in, trying to show that they treat him like one of their own, since they've known him since he was so young.
The presenter allows for a slight pause, letting the awkward silence stretch out for a few seconds, before saying (only half-jokingly) "I don't think I should be giving you girls a millions dollars."
The girls finally catch on to where this interview has gone, and immediately get on the defensive, boldly claiming that "oh, we don't want the money, because half of it we plan on giving to our parents anyway and the other half we're donating to charity", and one sister then rather bluntly states that she works for a non-profit in Sri Lanka, alongside her mother, and that the money doesn't matter. Sadly, the damage has already been done, and when the presenter asks why they're taking part and they answer a) "to prove we can do it" and b) "to represent the 'brownie girls' of South Asia woohoo!", things couldn't have gotten worse.
The interview ends on a tame note asking if they had boyfriends waiting for them back home, to which one sister answered yes while thankfully avoiding mentioning anything about his social status or domestic help.
Most have ridiculed the two girls in the video, though their reasons have been varied. I personally could barely watch the video after the millionth mention of their vast array of servants, and Premasiri's child labour situation didn't help. What bothered me the most however was their complete ignorance of the politically correct way to talk about domestic help and maids. Yes, Sri Lankans do use hired help often in their households, but mentioning it in such a callous and offhand way in front of a camera crew is just unforgivable. These are not uneducated, socially awkward girls; they are self-professed "privileged" adults, exposed to both Western and local culture. Thanks to 3 minutes with them however, CBS happily captioned the video "Twins Natalie and Nadiya share with Phil how comfortable life is for them in Sri Lanka", making it sound like child labour is something every affluent Sri Lankan makes use of. The twins obvious back-tracking, with the "non-profit" employment thrown in, only made things worse for them, and no doubt made for good TV.
It seems that the YouTube video received a slew of insults, rude comments and verbal abuse before being taken down. I don't condone the insults, (and I definitely don't consider them a "national embarrassment", like this prominent news site does - ridiculous) but I do however understand the anger, or at least where it is coming from; Sri Lanka gets enough (but probably deserved) bad press internationally without having to have two giddy girls unknowingly making a mockery of the social situation at home.
One blogger has written a spirited defence of the twins (whom she knows personally), but while I commend her for standing up for her friends I feel she is letting that friendship cloud her judgement. I'm sure the girls are lovely, friendly, good-natured adults, but that doesn't excuse being really, really ignorant. If this were any other country, they would be releasing statements to the media clarifying their statements and apologising, but I sincerely doubt they'll do that here. Instead, they'll have to suffer in silence knowing that for a brief few hours, they were exactly who they said they were - privileged, spoilt children who hadn't seen anything outside of their little bubble, and now that they have, are still unable to comprehend it.
Welcome to the internet, Natalie and Nadiya. Actually, welcome to social etiquette 101. Take the punches, learn from it, and move on.
EDIT:
After reading this post with a more cool head, I realise that I may have been too harsh and not explained my thinking clearly. I get that these kind of bloopers can happen when you're in front of a camera, and no doubt the girls were only trying to express how they were enjoying themselves. They just did it in an appallingly inappropriate way. I hadn't read the comments on the clip before it was taken down, but I fear that it is highly likely they were as ridiculous and over-the-top as the Groundview status update I linked earlier in the post. I feel sorry for them having to go through that, but I hope they learned from it, and I wish them the best.
The advancement of technology these days is remarkable not just because of the achievement itself, but because of the way it is trickling down to the average consumer. Over the last 20 years, technology that was once restricted to either the very wealthy or to specialists from a certain field have been finding applications in day-to-day appliances. For decades, technical breakthroughs from Formula 1, rally racing etc have made their way into your Volkswagen parked outside, in the form of power steering, ceramic brakes, automatic gearboxes and the like. The same can be said of computers; today, the latest processors from Intel or GPU's from Nvidia can be found on your desktop or in your smartphone within a few months.
With this sudden ease of access to high end technology, it's not uncommon to find people oversmarting themselves.
"Oversmarting"? Yes, I just made that word up. It means to needlessly procure or use technology, be it electronics or computing, that one is either unable or incapable of using for its designed purpose.
This is a common issue these days, especially at the work place. If someones colleague buys a smartphone, it's not long before they are looking to 'outsmart' said colleague by getting something more expensive and feature rich. "Oh you got a Blackberry? Well I got a Blackberry with a higher number. Oh you did too? Mine is a Blackberry 'Curve'. Oh yours is a Blackberry 'Bold'? Well I've got... err... "
Lets talk about smartphones and Blackberrys. Look, not everyone is going to need a Blackberry. I for one have no need to be informed of work emails after office hours, nor do I have a network of Blackberry users to whom I can communicate using BBM. Hence, I won't be getting one. My father does need this facility, but he doesn't like phones with tiny buttons and tiny screens, so I've made sure he doesn't get one either. The same goes for smartphones, but this hasn't been followed at my workplace - first a deputy manager buys a Galaxy S2, then another manager gets the same phone, then another manager buys an iPhone 4, then another goes abroad and gets an unlocked iPhone 4S, and then two more managers get the Galaxy Note. Out of all these people, perhaps only two know how to use their phones properly i.e., more than just calling and texting. You don't buy a Galaxy Note if you're not going to use the Note's massive screen and the stylus that comes with it for notes, presentation edits etc; you might as well play table tennis with it instead.
Of course, after finally getting these dream phones, they have the arduous task of figuring out how to actually use them. Just the other day I noticed one of them fumbling around, desperately trying to figure out how to add a contact to his phonebook on his iPhone. Here's what he did:
1. Opens dialer, types the number.
2. Closes dialer, reopens and types again.
3. Calls number and quickly cuts.
4. Re-opens dialer, dials number again and deletes number.
5. Goes to call log, clicks on outgoing call and adds to phonebook.
6. Types name wrong at least ten times due to keyboard errors.
7. Adds the same number twice to same contact.
8. Deletes one number.
9. Calls number to make sure name shows up.
This isn't restricted to phones though. As I've mentioned before, there are now a lot of people who feel that a simple point-and-shoot camera will no longer suffice, even though the only pictures they take are the kind where they point it at themselves from arms length, or into a bathroom mirror. Never mind that they've never even used all the 'scene' modes on their tiny Canon, they believe that only a complicated DSLR will be able to handle their photographic creativity. This is as practical as buying a 42 inch LED TV for your toilet because you get bored while taking a dump. Try a newspaper, Richie Rich.
Of course, expensive items such as iPhones and fancy gadgets have always been perceived more as symbols of status rather than solely tools to increase productivity. We've seen it before in the form of MP's buying Range Rovers and those stripped down army jeeps with the big tyres just to cruise around Independence square real fast, or people who buy $2000 laptops so their kids can play games on them. However, if you're not one of those people, then you need to seriously look at your gadgets and think "Do I really need this, and if so, am I going to use it to its full potential?". If the answer to both of those questions is 'no', then for the love of technology, don't do it!
Remember, the Flintstones were just as cool as the Jetsons.
They say you can't have too much of a good thing. (Or do they say the opposite? I'm not exactly sure.) However, this is far from the truth, which I discovered through careful scientific experimentation. (Just the other day I almost died by chocolate overdose. It was awful, and my love for chocolate did nothing to alleviate this.) No, there is such a thing as overkill, and it is prevalent in almost everything you can find.
So as a public service, I would like to list the top 5 things that have lost their once grand appeal because of trying too hard, for too long.
1. Beyonce
Look, I get it - she's the diva of all diva's, she's the original independent woman, and the only real talent behind Destiny's Child apparently. Yes, she's a great artist, and she is married to Jay-Z, thus sealing her status in the hip-hop pantheon. She's curvy and proud of it, and is an inspiration for girls of all ages.
But enough already.
Honestly, when Beyonce went solo and started belting out these raspy old-school beat hits, it was a breath of fresh air and something so unique in the modern hip-hop scene. But it's become so repetitive, so fast. Drum beat, weird dancing, a few horns in here, something you can repeat while shouting along, ("Single ladies, single ladies...", "Lemme upgrade you, lemme upgrade you..", "Halo! Halo! Halo! Halo!", "Who run the world.. GIRLS! Who run the world.. GIRLS!", "Get me bodied, get me bodied, work your body, work your body..!"), and some awkward pictures to promote the single, usually with Beyonce contorted like a pretzel while wearing 21inch heels.
Contortionist Beyonce
Crocodile Hunter Beyonce
White Beyonce on Skates
The throwbacks have been done to death Beyonce, it's time for B to find a new beat.
2. DSLR's
Thanks to advancements in technology, professional cameras are no longer restricted to the wedding photographers and those old antique photo-studios where married couples and all the entourage vanish in to after a wedding. No, now you can own your very own DSLR, if you're willing to spend upwards of a small fortune. 24 megapixels? Yes! ISO 12800? Um, sure! DIGIC-4 image processor? I.. err.. I think so. F-3.8 to 5.6? Of course! Wait, does it come with flash?
But now we have itty-bitty teenagers, with their overly-generous parents, lugging around high-end DSLR cameras bigger than their heads so that they can take pictures of their house parties and upload all 600 of them onto Facebook. Just to justify the expense though, they take a picture of something not completely in focus and a bit off-centre and they call themselves photographers.
It has to stop. I vote the photography club of Sri Lanka issue licenses to people who are actually interested in the art of photography only, and no one else. Anyone without a license gets their DSLR confiscated and given to more deserving photographers who don't have pockets as deep as your daddy's. In exchange, you get one of these.
You're welcome!
3. 'How I Met Your Mother'
For those who haven't watched this show, the premise is simple. The narrator, in 2030, is telling his kids how he met their mother back in the 2000's. However, the narrator (Ted) never reveals to us, the audience, who the mother is, instead telling us a series of seemingly unrelated events, including all the escapades with his friends and potential love interests etc, leaving the audience wondering who this wonderful lady could be.
The first three seasons are excellent, filled with witty humour, enough intrigue to have people guessing and second-guessing the identity of the 'mother' while weighing potential scenarios where characters we liked could somehow fit the subtle clues left through each episode like breadcrumbs leading to the fabled 'mother'. Internet forums for the show were flooded with 'conspiracy' theories.
Then it started going south.
I love the whole concept of a love story in reverse, and it is true that the characters are well drawn up and are very interesting. However, HIMYM is now on it's 7th season! Yes, seven years of watching Ted get with several women, learning several things about himself and life along the way, and never quite meeting 'the one'. Seven seasons of average to above-average side stories involving the other characters who, in the grand scheme of things, the audience is not that interested in. I get how the networks wanted to stretch it out as long as they could, and it seems they have set season 8 as the final season, but for the love of all things, expecting viewers to stay engaged in this bizarre 'mystery' for seven whole years is pushing it into "Lost" territory. I predict a massive, massive let down next season.
End it. Now!
4. MBA's
"Sure, anyone can spend 3 to 4 years learning and studying under the guidance of a faculty of trained, experienced lecturers, while completing regular assignments and exams! But why have you not done a masters?"
Remember the time when getting a degree was a big deal, irrespective of what it was in? No, neither do I. That's because it was way before our time, before college degrees became as impressive as your birth certificate. Nowadays anyone can get a degree, and as a result, degrees are no longer held in as much esteem as they once were. Sure, they're enough to get you a job, in some cases. But what then? Limited or no chance of climbing the work ladder, because you've not got the magic letters after your name - MBA.
Doing an MBA used to mean you were interested in running a company, or staring your own business, or something along those lines. Now, however, every Tom, Dick and Harith is enrolled in a weekend class to get a 'speedy MBA', that is, an MBA from a 'reputed' foreign university in only a year instead of two. Without exaggeration, at the moment there are 8-10 people in my company enrolled in an MBA course. What makes it worse is that a majority of them are lost regarding their coursework, and regularly use unfair means to complete assignments, projects and even thesises.
So where does all this end? You suddenly have a load of executives, assistant and deputy managers with MBA's, all from the same place, all at the same time. So once again, prospective employers look at all these qualifications and ask you this:
"Sure, anyone can spend 20 hours every weekend for a year on classes, assignments and exams while working 5 days a week and fulfilling work obligations! But why have you not done a Ph.D?"
MBA students - if you're not genuinely interested in being a Master of business administration, then please just stop.
5. The Kolaveri Di songs
I'm not even going to bother writing a brief intro about this, because you can't possibly have not heard this song.
After taking off in India, the song went absolutely, madly viral in Asia, spawning multiple versions and takes on the song, including Punjabi versions, female 'response' versions, kid versions, rap versions, the Hitler version, even a Sinhala version which I've heard but couldn't find.
I just don't get it. Sure it's one of those songs that get stuck in your head, like every other rubbish song that you hate. But people are gushing over it, praising the musical genius behind the simplistic rhythm and lyrics. Just the other day someone in our department played it on loop for an entire day! I call people for work and the song is their caller tune! Even our telecom provider Dialog started offering it as a downloadable ringtone. Whyyyy??? Make it stop!!
Aptly, Kolaveri is supposed to roughly translate to 'murderous rage'. That is the only thing about that song I understand.
We are living in a very technologically advanced age, and we should be grateful for that. Here I am, blogging on my laptop, while in the background I'm live streaming an NBA game happening across the world, listening in on thousands of peoples instant reactions to the same game via Twitter, sharing my opinions through my smartphone while on the go - and this is all rather low-tech by today's standards. Just the other day, my twitter feed suddenly erupted about some basketball player performing an insane dunk in the game. Literally 5 minutes later, the video had been uploaded to Youtube and I was able to see it for myself. Five minutes!
You can check it out here by the way; quite aptly known as "The dunk that broke twitter".
We're starting to see things in real life that have only been imagined in movies and science fiction. Fantasies which were once envisioned for decades or centuries in the future are being tentatively showcased at expos in Korea and Japan as we speak. Just ten years ago, it would have been almost impossible to imagine the technology that is now available at my very own fingertips.
But with every giant step for mankind, there are the odd negatives.
We can all agree that the internet has radically changed our lives, be it in the form of entertainment, information, research, networking or communication. But thanks to the internet, how many of us go to the library anymore? In fact, it's not just educational reading that has suffered; nowadays reading a book can take what is now considered an ungodly amount of time, especially since we are used to short and sweet bursts of information through internet reading.
In fact, the attention span of the average individual has drastically reduced in the recent few years. Even watching a full length movie is a chore, because we're so used to 30 min condensed stories in the form of TV shows on-demand. Writing emails are laborious tasks, especially since a simple 'poke' on Facebook or a short "Whats up?" on someones wall would suffice. Reading newspapers are just so complicated. I mean, how do you hold all these sheets of paper together? Argh, it's SO much easier to just click links! As for actual letter writing? Who does that anymore? I know some people who were incredulous that the job they were applying for required an actual snail mail letter instead of an email application.
This really annoys me. It's almost as if no one has the patience to do anything even remotely time consuming. We plan our trips so that we're back home in time for our favourite show. We are appalled that some actions in life require actual physical interaction, such as bank transactions. Exercise is too much work. I mean, 6 months for a 6 pack? Please - everyone is looking for how to lose weight in 3 weeks, how to get a beach body in 15mins a day, and how to get in shape by sitting on the couch and letting a machine vibrate against your pot belly.
It irks me. I was reminded about my Malaysia trip last year, where we pretty much backpacked for a week. Being cut off from the internet and luxury in general was a pleasant break. I sat with my two friends late into the night, talking and laughing more than I had in years, mainly because I had never taken the time to do so while in my routine-filled life back home.
I recommend that we all try this every now and then. No, not go to Malaysia and go on 3 day hikes. I mean, take a time-out from our speedy lifestyles and just find the time to relax and reconnect with the physical world around us. Talk to people, read a book, go for an actual walk instead of running on a treadmill. Get some fresh air.
*Apparently I wrote a post in the dead of night last night in a semi-conscious state. It is somewhat lucid so I'll keep it up. Mental note - no internet after 1am.
Facebook, and the internet in general has been taken by this 30 Day Challenge fever, where everyone is posting music and movies (well fine, only me) and some have turned it into a poetrychallenge and god knows what else. Then there's Cadence, who is on a 'Game Plan' to shed 14kg in a ludicrous time-frame, and then there are these GoodReads book challenges, and I AM SICK OF THESE CHALLENGES!!
Well not really, I'm just really bad at them.
My GoodReads challenge is as good as dead (I've read 2 books out of my allotted 15 book challenge. I may not reach 5) and I have decided to abandon my 30 Day Movie challenge out of sheer boredom (I watch too many movies; every question required hours of agonising and recollection). The only 'challenge' I seem to have conquered was my plan to return to regular gym work-outs, but I don't want to label that as a challenge in case I jinx the whole thing.
Despite all this, however, I have decided to take on.. another challenge.
The hardest habits to break are the ones that sort of sneak up on you when you're looking the other way. It starts off as something inconsequential, and then into something minor, then to something necessary, and before you know it you've incorporated it into daily life. Breaking these habits are hard because, really, you see no real need to do it and also because it's become so normal.
Yes, I am talking about - smileys!
I was rather alarmed when it dawned on me that I use those little faces way too often during chat conversations and text messages. It's not like I drop a punctuation mark 'face' after every sentence, but they do appear rather liberally in my conversations. Now, there are several reasons for this; one being, I use sarcasm. A lot. And in these situations, smiley faces are essential.
Sample chat statements:
Friend: Hey my girlfriend says hi!
G: She said more than that last night..
Friend: Dude.. WTF?? That's not funny!
Friend: Hey my girlfriend says hi!
G: She said more than that last night.. ;) :P :D
Friend: HAHAHA oh man, that's hilarious! You're the best friend ever..!
Friend2: .. and after that we're going to Galle Face. Do you know where Galle Face is?
G: No
Friend2: Really?? Oh you're from Kandy, you don't come to Colombo no??
G: No
Friend2: You really should machan, what is there in Kandy?? You spend all day in city centre no?
G: Yes
Friend2: I knew it!
Friend2: .. and after that we're going to Galle Face. Do you know where Galle Face is?
G: No :P :D
Friend2: haha just checking, okay anyway..
Also, those smileys are always useful in getting out of a sticky situation when you may have accidentally said something you weren't meant to.
Friend3: I might skip dessert, I don't want to put on any more weight u know?
G: How could you possibly put on any more weight?
Friend3: How dare you!! Are you implying that I'm.. (rant)
Friend3: I might skip dessert, I don't want to put on any more weight u know?
G: How could you possibly put on any more weight?
[realisation strikes]
G: :D :P :D
Friend3: hahahaha very funny! :P
As you can see, there is a distinct advantage to using them, but as I grow older I fear that I may end up being taken as seriously as a text-addicted high school kid by my peers, and that is not something that I want to happen. So, dear readers, it will be a challenge, but I am up for it! From now onwards, my use of smileys and other emoticons shall be reduce by (pause for effect) 99%!! The ground rules:
1. All emoticons with any form of punctuation mark are not allowed
2. One smile :) is allowed per chat conversation, and can be used either for a hello or goodbye, for courtesy sake
3. LOL's and haha's are allowed, as long as they are not too liberal
4. No implied smileys (such as "[smile]") or any other variant allowed.
There you go then. Lets see how long I can last in the cyberworld without my trusty icons, and feel free to join me in this quest.
Recently I've been rather shocked at the stories I've heard. Just this morning I was reading about this site that allows teenage kids to post videos of themselves and become "e-famous" by being controversial, racy, explicit and even nude. A site monitored by a 31 year-old man who used to work in the porn industry, and who regularly incites his members against each other into trolling and making teens attack each other in public, video forums. Last year there was a video that went viral of 11 year old Jessi Slaughter (not her real name, obviously). She had grown rather infamous among her teen followers for her trolling, explicit videos and personal attacks. It got so bad (she attacked her 'haters' by saying "If you can't stop hating, you know what? I'll pop a glock in your mouth and make a brain slushy.") that somehow, people got hold of her personal information, real name and address, and started harrassing her, which led to a tear-filled video that went viral of her imploring her followers to leave her alone, while her parents raged in the background, and her father made loud, angry and ultimately desperate threats against this anonymous enemy.
Eleven years old.
Today the latest teen e-celebrity is 18 year old KikiKannibal, who has been an online presence since she was 13, with a MySpace profile. She posted suggestive and inappropriate (for her age) pictures of herself, and was soon famous on the Interwebs. She amassed friends, enemies, and death threats, before dating an older teen whom she met online. The teen allegedly raped her, and when the police sought to arrest him, he fell off a parking garage and died. Kiki and her traumatized family changed addresses, but she refused to leave her online persona behind. Now, she's 18, with two websites, a Youtube channel, twitter and tumblr account where she keeps in touch with her legion of rabid 'fans', still parading in outrageous outfits, still a 'celebrity'.
Eighteen years old.
A teenage girl we knew ran away with an older man, leaving behind a crushed single mother and a sibling. She lived under his roof for two years, bore him a child, was physically abused by him when he was drunk, and then died in the hospital due to injuries caused by a local 'doctor' who was performing an abortion on her with a sticks and tubes.
I'm told her mother didn't shed a tear at the funeral.
As we read these stories - and I'm sure this is nothing compared to what you may have stumbled across on the net - are you not alarmed at how quick we are to dismiss this? With a simple shrug and a 'tut-tut', we are able to move on without a second thought to what we have just read. Today, no one even remembers the name of the Austrian lady that was kidnapped and imprisoned in a basement by her father, who raped her for twenty years, fathering seven children by his own daughter, three of which would never see the sun till they were freed decades later.
Or even worse, we rationalise. It's not the child's fault, it's the parents. It's the internet. It's the websites. It's no ones fault, it's freedom of expression. It's not a crime, he/she wants the attention. They deserve the hate, the trauma. Who allowed her to buy those outfits? What kind of music was she listening to? What kind of movies was she watching?
Isn't this all besides the point?
The truth is, it's too late. As you read this, your brain is already filing this under 'yesterdays news', because sadly, we've become so numb to anyone's pain except our own. Right now, even if we knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that someone we knew was going through something similar to what I've posted above, there's a good chance not one of us would go that extra mile to try and help that person. Not one.
It is yet another glorious Monday morning, and I am 'busy' at work, staring importantly at my laptop while clicking furiously away with my mouse, all the while keeping my fingers on the Alt + Tab keys to switch between my work spreadsheets, Twitter and the live Spurs versus Nuggets game on ESPN.
We all have our ways of wasting time at work or school, but somehow we seem to have lost the romance of it all. Gone are the days where men would sit back with their feet on the desk, nonchalantly reading the newspaper while keeping a watchful eye on the boss' office door, should he suddenly appear from his one millionth 'meeting' with his secretary. Gone too are the days when kids would pass handwritten notes between each other, filled with witty reworkings of the teachers lecture, juicy real or imagined gossip, or amusingly accurate caricatures of classmates and staff.
No, today's classroom rebels are rebelling silently, or at worst, to the sound of their fingers on their cell phone keys, and the workplace outlaws are sticking it to The Man by using the office internet for Facebook or YouTube.
In a generation as technologically advanced as ours, shouldn't we be able to find more 'advanced' ways of beating the system than by browsing a social network site? In a classic case of them vs us, the powers that be are banning a website with the same aggression that is used to ban office workers from lighting a joint in the back room. Heck, our modern-day 'pirates' look more like Jack Black rather than Jack Sparrow, sitting behind anonymous computers in their mothers basements, somewhere in Scandinavia, while 'smuggling' music and movies online in broad daylight.
It's all really pathetic.
I have nothing but love for YouTube, which brings me all forms of entertainment when I need it, but I don't get this so-called addiction to Facebook. Sure, I'm on Facebook, and I have been for years. Sure, I upload photos every now and then. Why yes, I log on at least once every day. But addicted?? It baffles me. I spend a maximum of 5 mins online at a time on Facebook; after all, it takes the average person about a second and a half to read someones status update, and multiply that by the number of people that show up on your newsfeed, that gives you what, like, a minute? Unless you're one of those carebears that loves each and every single person on your friends list equally and feel it necessary to go through each one of their updates. If that person is you, you crazy. 'Nuff said.
But again I say: addicted?? Of course, there's the small matter of these farm related games that everyone goes on about. Fascinating, really, how we've suddenly taken such an interest in cattle, livestock and produce. Fascinating and confounding. Personally, I'd be more excited about it if my clicks actually meant there was a little man in some god-forsaken village who went about planting and harvesting stuff based on what I did, but that's just me I suppose.
But, and again I say, addicted??? Apparently people like going through everyone elses pictures and photo albums, performing what I like to call 'legal stalking'. Again, I can understand the fascination with this, but how long could this last? Most people leave the most redundant and pointless comments on Facebook. My personal favourites are the barely literate "Gd job machan, proud of u, keep up the good wrk!!". The dude is standing next to a fountain. He didn't build the damn thing, so I don't know what "gd work" he's talking about, and I don't know why he's proud that his friend is standing next to a source of water getting his hair sprinkled, but to each his/her own.
Bottom line: we need a serious injection of bad-assery in our generation. I vote for everyone to step away from their computers and start living outside our little cyber worlds. If that's too much to ask, then fine, take cyber-terrorism as a hobby, followed with a dash of fraud and inter-school embezzelment for the kiddies.
Despite me hardly blogging of late, the spam-bots have been busy at work, flooding my inbox with anonymous comments and retarded attempts at sounding ‘human’. I’m still at a loss to know how anyone could fall for a spammer, I mean, how stupid must you be to click on a link for “magic penis enlargement – REAL!”? It’s just beyond me.
While I understand how companies out there need to use whatever methods possible to get people to buy their products or visit their websites, I’m somewhat confused as to why they can’t design them better. The English is just atrocious, the grammar is non-existent, and – well, see for yourself.
“good morning fellas. I’m honestly into shoes and I was looking for the sake of that exact brand. The prices as regards the shoes around 300 pounds on every page. But for all I base this location selling them for half price. I in reality like these [fake link here]. I will definitely purchase them. What can you say about it?” - This was for “Love Hurts”. Clearly, the connection between music, Incubus and feet is obvious to everyone except me.
“I congratulate, an excellent idea”
– I really wanted to put that up, but it was for “Blog Action Day ‘09” and I really had nothing to do with it.
“You have tested it and writing form your personal experience or you find some information online?”
“You are not right. I can prove it. Write to me in PM, we will talk”
– This was again for “Blog Action Day ‘09”, so I’m assuming he/she/it means I’m wrong about global warming. Well thank goodness for that!
“Exceptional site! Nearly everyone needs to acquire insurance at one time or another, whether it is auto insurance, life insurance, health insurance, or homeowner’s insurance. These times it is more painless than ever to find complimentary insurance quotes for several businesses in order to find the optimal deal. You can also see how to save oodles of money in free gasoline when you acquire your insurance price quotations. [link to insurance site] [link to wedding rings site] [link to site to discover family tree]”
– I have absolutely no idea why after a huge comment about insurance, they include links to wedding rings and family trees. But points for using the words “oodles”.
“You must have seen Ranbir Kapoor’s wonderful chemistry with Katrina Kaif in Ajab Prem Ki Ghajab Kahani. Katrina is really exited to romance Ranbir, obviously in reel life. Katrina is really eager to be a part of Ashtvinayak’s next film that casts Ranbir. However she is well known to this fact that her looks as well as accent can not relate. [link to bollywood blog]”
– Posted in “The Basketball Analogies”, one of my favourite posts. How Bollywood and Basketball are related, or how Ray Allen points to Katrina Kaif, is yet another mystery that only the spam-gods can understand. On the other hand, I’m SO excited about Ranbir Kapoor’s wonderful on-screen chemistry though, and I can’t WAIT to see his next project!
“Naja, ob das alles so richtig is...”
– Posted on “My Reason For Blogging”. All I have to say to that is: “Arschloch! Heil Hitler!”
“高松宮記念の最新予想！オッズ、厳選買い目は？！レースの鍵を握る馬は裏情報を特別公開”
- And then I get spam in Japanese. Apparently this is about horse racing or something. Sheesh.
Of course spam is not restricted to my blog; twitter gives me enough and more headaches on a daily basis. I just have to tweet about something remotely popular to have all these bots following me. Sports, music, movies – anything is a trigger for a spam-bot. Of course, the most annoying are the bots which add you for no particular reason, but have some half-naked women as a display picture and a handful of tweets, all linking to her “private webcam”. As I delete them, I just wonder what are the odds that perhaps one of them is actually a real person? Just my luck.
However my favourite has to be the MSN spam messages I get from infected contacts. I sign in and I get a list of offliners from different people, earnestly telling me that “Bob” has been using some secret pills to enhance his sex life so they stole a few to check, and lo and behold, they actually WORK! Just $5 too, how could I resist?
How could I indeed. The moron that falls for that should be given a special prize, like a live chat with a call-girl of his choice.
A call-girl that’s a 29 year old guy sitting in a cubicle in India.
Feel free to add on any interesting spam comments you’ve come across!
*'Garbage Time' is a phrase used in basketball, which is used to describe the time towards the end of a game when the margin between the teams is so great, the remaining minutes in the game are inconsequential. Some players use this time to 'stuff' their stat sheets, scoring easy points while the opposing defences slack off.*
I haven't properly blogged in a long time, and I lay the blame firmly on my absolutely cursed luck with regards to the Internet. At work the Internet is restricted, and when I stay in Colombo at my uncle's, I can't come online often because he doesn't even have a connection, so I have to go across the street to his in-laws to check mail. Someone say awkward.
To solve this dilemma, I go and get a dongle, setup a package, and I’m all set for wireless Internet. Only problem is that despite having a Dialog tower literally 200m away from my house, I don’t get a good enough signal to even watch Youtube, thanks to some heavy foliage around our house. In fact all I get is the laboriously slow EDGE signal which means you're more likely to be hit in the head by a flying water buffalo than have a Skype conversation with someone.
Hence, I've decided to put together some random snippets of my rather happening life over the last month or so, just to fill in till I get back to my normal writing. I was very tempted to write an election related post, but I'm sure the blogosphere is already 'ringing' (pinging?) with arguments both praising and denouncing the results, so I'll just leave it to them and settle for more trivial topics.
The Demon Cat
During one of our back-to-back-to-back parties which we've had over the last couple of weeks (to keep with tradition of course), we had an unexpected guest in the form of a jet black straight-outta-Harry-Potter cat. While a few people fed the cat some scraps from dinner (and certain others planned on getting it drunk) there were others who were extremely freaked out by this slinking bearer of bad luck. We were almost done convincing these people that superstitions of the sort were totally ridiculous when the cat, which had upto that point been playfully rubbing itself against people's ankles like any normal house cat, decided to turn 'jungle cat' and promptly bit someone.
Several cries of murder later, we took the guy to the hospital and what ensued was a thorough anti-rabies course that would convince most animal lovers to change their mind instantly. However, despite finding out later that the cat had only bitten him because he had unknowingly stepped on it in the dark, the only conclusion that was reached after this incident was that the cat was possessed. I kid you not, 'possessed'! Apparently paranormal activity was quite common in our housing scheme, with several inhabitants adding their own bits to the already rather elaborate 'ghost stories' and some even refusing to stay in certain houses which were considered more 'haunted' than the rest.
Morale of the story: animal cruelty only applies if the victim is not related to the spirit world; else please make sure you have some ectoplasm nearby. Else, well, 'who you gonna call'?
Facebook Drama
The problem with social networking is that it inevitably emulates the issues and problems of real-world society. St.Fallen wrote a very interesting post regarding a conversation that he encountered on Facebook, but what I observed was on a slightly different line. One of the strangest things that I've noticed about Facebook is it's privacy settings. It seems like every month they introduce more settings to control who sees what on your profile, or how public your information really is.
But doesn't that go against the very principle of a social networking site? Isn't the sole purpose of such a site to, well, 'socialize'?
By creating these little groups on Facebook, we only encourage the type of internet misdemeanours that we hear about all the time. You see, if we didn't have any of these security settings and groupings, we'd be forced to upload pictures and information that we were actually ok with sharing. What has happened now is a culture where we upload things that not everyone should be seeing, yet we hide behind the security settings and barriers of Facebook to protect us from the consequences of our disclosure. Yet, more often than not, something goes wrong somewhere and those scandalous pictures of you and that random boy you were grinding with turn up on in your boyfriend's inbox. Surprise, surprise, boo hoo, hate to say I told you so.
Loo Logistics
There should be rules and regulations to prevent that awkward exchange of greeting when you bump into someone in the loo. Too often I run into a colleague just as he's zipping up or I'm - err - zipping down. Then we're forced to either nod and make some sound of acknowledgement, or we just ignore them completely which is just awkward. Then there's the moment when we're both at the sink washing up and trying to make polite conversation, yet have you noticed how strange any conversation is when you're having it in a bathroom?
He: Hey there.
Me: Hi.
He: So, [says something work related]
[sound of flush in the background]
Me: Err, yeah, I'll get right on it. ["I just got work delegated to me in the toilet. Kill me now."]
or
Me: Hi.
He: Hey man!! What's going on? How are you?? [Holds out hand to shake]
Me: ...
[silence]
[sound of flush in the background]
[He silently withrdraws hand]
[Things are never the same again]
I could go on and on.
Hence I hereby decree: for the sake of male friendships around the world, there shall be no communication, no words exchanged, no eye contact or contact of any kind between parties in or around a 10metre radius of a men's bathroom.
Back in the day when broadband internet was not freely available in every household, cyber-cafe's were all the rage. When I was studying in India, there were at least 4 within 50 metres of each other (it's an Asian thing I guess, opening up a store right next to another store that sells exactly the same products as you). These establishments are generally considered shady, especially since they are the perfect location for unscrupulous activities such as drug deals, assassinations, blackmail and extortion, but mostly because hormone-crazed couples gravitate to them like fat people to bran crackers.
So why did I brave the dark and dangerous world of cramped love-making alone? Simple - to catch up on the news.
Yes. I read the news.
No doubt you would think that reading the newspaper would suffice, but you would be wrong. Sure, the papers have it all well-documented, but I'm not really interested in Indian politics or what Pakistan has been up to lately, and I couldn't care less about the latest travesty of a movie Bollywood, Tollywood and Lollywood just churned out. My main interests lie in the latest NBA scores & updates, tv shows (English please), movies (likewise), music (you guessed it) and Formula 1; all of which were almost never mentioned in the newspapers.
One thing that 24 hour cable news and the internet have taught us is that the world is a very happening place. Switch to any channel and you'll hear of natural disasters, plague, murder, scandal, kidnapping, corruption, arrests, politics - the works! Even the business and sports sections are not without drama and excitement, thanks to the likes of Bernie Madoff, Caster Semenya and Max Mosley's bizarre sex life.
Which is why I am somewhat intrigued by some of our local news networks. My father plain loves the news. He wakes up to it, surfs the local news websites during work, listens to the lunch time news, listens to the hourly updates when he's driving, listens to the 830pm radio news, watches the news on TV at 9pm, and probably has dreams in the form of new bulletins ("This just in, a new law has been passed making it illegal to not own at least one two-door roadster if you're over the age of 50. Also, you can now sell your children legally...."). He buys almost all the English newspapers on Sundays, and is probably the most informed man in the district; a fact I pity him for, since according to certain news reports, there isn't much on the news these days.
My main concern it the 830pm news bulletin on Gold FM. Since this falls squarely on the sacred hour of dinner, the entire family is expected to devour our food with the least amount of auditory disturbance, be it in the form of normal conversation or even loud chewing, as my father listens intently to the happenings of this great nation - again. However, after listening to this news bulletin countless number of times, I've come to the conclusion that nothing really 'happens' here. Take for instance last night's bulletin.
[Cue drumroll and dramatic news-type music]
TOP STORY!
"President Mahindra Rajapakse said today that he would hand over a united nation to the people, but that only real men could properly serve the motherland. He said this while speaking at a random event somewhere in the island"
This would be the part where I looked at mom and mouthed "Real men?!", Mom shakes her head in disbelief and Bro bursts into a (silent) fit of laughter under the table.
LOCAL NEWS!
"The opposition leader today said that the government is trying to trick the people, and that they would not stand idly by while the government abuses the integrity of the nation. He said this while attending a rally at another random location"
"In further news, another politician that wants to get his two cents in said that foreign powers seek to destroy our great nation by spreading lies and scandal, and that we will sue the European Union for their corrupt talk. He said this while opening a primary school in Colombo"
"Also, the minister of agriculture and trade said that we have the greatest army in the world, and that foreign superpowers will bow to our greatness, even as India, China and Russia send their top army officials to learn from our valiant troops how to win the war against terror. He said this while standing in a field of daisies, as the wind blew through his hair."
"And finally, some children in several areas died due to the Rubella vaccination, another person was found dead in his home, a woman was abducted and raped in a village, but this all pales in comparison to what I've already read, so let's move along".
Then they move onto the foreign news, mispronounce ever other world leader's name, stumble onto the business news which has obviously been written by some super-nerd with a Ph.D in economics who wants to flex his academic muscle, and I'm left wondering how I could get those 15minutes of my life back.
If the news in the country is restricted to what random politicians and ministers have to 'say' on matters of the country, why bother listening? Surely we all know by now that nothing gets done by talking, and this country definitely needs people who can do more than rant and rave about the 'integrity' and 'sovereignty' of our great nation. Yet if our news bulletins frequently give these people a platform to pontificate from their pedestals, then we are only encouraging them to continue doing so. Nothing beats the torture I used to go through when the war was still on, as every night's news update had something about "freeing our people from the clutches of terrorism" or "rescuing the motherland from the grip of tyranny" and other such prose. Who comes up with this stuff?! If I were a newsreader on that show I'd at least have some one cue "audience laughter" every now and then so that the listeners wouldn't be completely blown away by the bizarreness of the content.
God bless the journalists of this country who tirelessly seek out the truth, but please, someone find the guy who writes for this radio station, stuff a sock in his throat, light him on fire and tell us the news that really matters.
EDIT: After writing this post, I've realised that while everything in this post is true, it is definitely not the rule. Sometimes, they actually DO broadcast the news. Yet, over a long period of time, I feel it is safe to say my accusations are justified.
If you've ever been around middle aged or elderly people, you are no stranger to their constant bickering with regards to the way the world is today, and how much better things were back in 'the good old days', even though the so-called 'good old days' for a 50 year-old may be considered a part of the 'modern era' for a 70 year-old. Still, the premise is simple - before 'now', everything was 'better'.
Most of us cringe during these conversations, but I must say that in some ways I have to agree. However, while most of the older generation complain about music, fashion and cell phones, my main grouse with today's world would have to be the way we fight.
Travel back in time with me a couple of centuries. If modern theatre and books are to believed, living in the 19th century was a difficult proposition! If you survived child birth, it was a miracle! And then you had to pray for a succession of miracles so that you wouldn't die from smallpox, cholera or tuberculosis, because thanks to the non-invention of modern medicine, once you got one of those diseases you were doomed to spend the rest of your short life surrounded by other sick people in some dungeon quarantine. And then if you made it into your twenties, just when you'd turn to pat yourself on the back for a job well done you'd most likely find a dagger, sword or some other sharp object protruding from it. But at least that you might have deserved!
See, back then there was a strict code of honour surrounding the way we solved problems, at least among the higher social classes. If you ever insulted or mocked someone, it was their honour-bound duty to challenge you to a duel to resolve the quarrel. I'm talking about the sort of duels written about in Alexandre Dumas' "The Count of Monte Cristo" and "The Three Musketeers". It may seem medieval to us now, but back then it was a socially acceptable form of conflict resolution, that left no room for errors, was swift and decisive.
Fast forward back to the present, and look around you. The world has become one where it isn't the law makers that rule the land, it's the lawyers! A few punches thrown at an annoying customer or a rude waiter and we get sued for everything we own. Hey, God bless the judicial system; they may have resolved countless disputes over the years, but for every 100 cases there's always one where somebody sues McDonald's for making them fat.
So somebody goes and says "the pen is mightier than the sword", and all of a sudden we have an answer - hate mail. Bring on the internet, and now we have hate boards for everything under the sun. Of all the sad and lamentable changes that have occurred in the last quarter century, the internet wars have to be the saddest. On kottu we have our resident trolls, and while some may find them witty, funny and/or pure evil (depending on whether you've been 'outed' by them) I am decidedly neutral about them. Faceless, nameless people pontificating from the shadows - I'm bored already. However, my concern is not so much about the trolls, but our reaction to them.
Personally, this whole drama with NB is just a reflection of how sad we as human beings have become. I'm not saying this because of what he did, but rather for the way we all retaliated. We somehow got it into our heads that this 'war of words' could actually be won by the party with the most scathing and sarcastic post written about the other. So we have a little back and forth between the forces of evil aka Bawa and his chocolate-covered minions and the forces of the little downtrodden people aka the rest of the blogosphere (except The Whackster, who is firmly on the fence). The same argument applies to the trolls, who scour the blogosphere looking for 'unworthy' posts and go on to eviscerate them in agonising detail. Then we get all offended and try to retaliate by feeding them more material to 'troll' on.
Really, what is the point? I for one am as sick of these trolls as I am of internet threats and blackmail. "Do this else I will publish your address". If you HAVE my address, why not come ring the door bell and we can settle this like men? "Look at what so-n-so wrote. It is utter tripe! Laugh with me at his idiocy!" So someone doesn't like your writing. Oh no. This means you must either a) retaliate and try to one-up them or b) crawl under a rock and die from embarrassment.
Sad.
If only we had people like this in World War II. I can only imagine the look of utter incomprehension on the Polish head of state's face if, instead of being invaded, he was 'bombed' with hate mail by Hitler.
Bottom line? Bloggers are generally considered to be 'lame' - don't vindicate that accusation by getting into a virtual battle of insults.
*I accidently published this post yesterday without completing it. Sorry for the confusion. Yes I can be a bit of a clutz too.
From the beginning of time, there is one fact that is undeniable and indisputable. Men are creeps.
Yes, it is fact! While women definitely have the ability to go loco once in a while, it's kind of similar to women that drive; they can get the hang of it if they try, but they're not bringing home any awards. The male species on the other hand boast of such timeless legends like Hannibal Lecter, Jack the Ripper, Ted Bundy, Charles Manson and the Zodiac Killer. And on the women's side? Ma Baker.
Yes, we men have a twisted nature that has been passed down from the days of Adam. While it is more pronounced in some, it still has the ability to rear its ugly head even in the most docile of men. As a result, our world has been slowly and irreversibly corrupted. Just take a look around you: we discover radioactivity, and we turn it into the nuclear bomb. We discover fossil fuels, and we create global warming. We invent the internet as a tool for communication, and instead we use 60% of it for porn.
Ah the internet - truly a spawn of the devil is it not? While we laud those special people that developed life changing applications such as Twitter and Youtube, the internet has provided a playground for an interesting breed of individual - the stalker.
The internet stalker is an interesting little creep, simply because in person he may look as much as a stalker as the Dalai Lama. Quiet, unassuming, reserved, polite - but let him loose on the internet and his inner stalker is revealed.
The beauty of the internet is the anonymity it provides. While many people pretend to be open and share their personal information such as real name, photos, location etc, they still hide behind a shroud of secrecy that is almost impenetrable to a fellow online persona. This is perfect for the internet stalker, simply because he can forge an entirely new and false aura about himself. The quiet unassuming person behind the keyboard is transformed into the internet bully that has the ability to shut people up and flirt brazenly with the womenfolk. Sadly, while most guys can see through a fraud of their own sex, the women fail to see this.
It usually starts the same way - the guy chooses his victim, and openly flirts with her in ways that he has only dreamt of doing in real life. Why shouldn't he; the anonymity of the net gives him the license to say whatever he wants without fear of repercussions. Then follows the name calling: yes, the 'doll face', 'baby', 'honey', 'lover' - all names that would never work if actually verbalised, but come off as 'confident' and 'endearing' when read in cyberspace. Emoticons go a long way in helping as well, as virtual hugs and squeezes, flying kisses and what not are hurled with reckless abandon. Once again, such behaviour on a first or second date would be immediately followed by pepper spray and a restraining order, but on the net, well - "awww!".
As time goes by, the girl genuinely believes she has met a confident, charming, charismatic and intelligent guy, and has no qualms whatsoever in sharing her email address, cell phone number and other intimate details. Little does she know that the confidence, charm and charisma are probably 'borrowed' from Grey's Anatomy's "McDreamy" while the intelligence is borrowed from Google. Oh, you thought he actually knew the story and dialogues from 'Mona Lisa Smile'? You poor thing.
But, like all deceptions, most of the time they get found out - sometimes through phone conversations or perhaps if they eventually decide to meet up. The charade rarely lasts long enough for there to be real cause for concern, but it is still an awkward situation in the best of scenarios and the girl is usually left wondering how she was duped by this 5'2" marshmallow of a man. However, it doesn't end there. No, now he has your full name, your email address, your cell number - and these days those are the magic numbers that open all doors to confidentiality. Spam emails, constant phone calls, and in some cases email hacking are all on the cards now, and if you think I'm exaggerating - this all happened to a friend of mine.
Cynical? Perhaps. Granted, not all men on the internet are like that. But the proportion of weirdos that troll the internet is pretty disturbing. At the heart of it all, sadly we live in a world where it is best to assume people are guilty until proven innocent. Because, given the opportunity, most men will succumb to the temptations of masquerading as an alter ego; the internet just makes it all so easy.
Bottom line? While we may find it more appealing to give people the benefit of the doubt, it is probably more beneficial if you do doubt. Just because someone showers you with love, attention and Facebook gifts ("So-and-so has gifted you a unicorn! Click here to send back a diamond encrusted statuette of a hunter clubbing a baby seal") doesn't mean you've by chance stumbled onto the nicest guy on the internet. Sadly, you may have just stumbled onto yet another faceless and shameless dumbass.
As the days go by, the world is becoming more and more tech-savvy. At least, that's the term of choice nowadays, instead of admitting that we're all a bit mad. Yesterday we were drooling over the Blackberry and the iPhone, but today we are designing Blackberry's for kids; yes, a colourful handheld 'PDA style' toy for toddlers that thankfully doesn't connect to the internet. As if the youth of today needed any additional training in the art of text messaging - they basically shoot out of the womb with a wireless headset in their ear, and while in the past the doctor's were greeted by the sound of a baby crying they shouldn't be surprised if they now deliver a baby that's beeping. Exaggeration? Read this. This girl sent 14000 text messages in a month. I rest my case.
In fact, we've come to a place where little or no interaction is required for even the most mundane tasks. Even the age old customs of buying the groceries has now been replaced by the 'internet fridge', which basically allows us to sit in the kitchen and do absolutely nothing while men deliver random food items to your door without you asking for it. If only you didn't have to walk all the way to to the door to sign for it. Eureka!
With this shift that life has taken towards everything cordless, wireless, lossless and pointless, it's not uncommon to find ourselves with a sort of split personality, the online one which everyone sees and adores, and the real one which is a just a tad, well, blah. Sabby wrote an interesting post about blogging and anonymity, and I think it's relevant here.
But what I really want to point out is the paramount importance of the DP, also known as your Display Picture. Yes, it seems that while most of our interactions have now taken to the online format, there are still some people that like to see what you actually look like. I'm sure the tech nerds of all those little internet chat forums etc are still seething against this little detail, but thanks to the magic of photoshop and other such devices, hope is not lost.
See, appearances mean everything, as I wrote earlier. While it's true that most jobs still require a personal interview, the fact that you even got to that stage is at least partly due to that smart looking photograph on your resume. Yes, the one with the slight inclination, the soft toning, the twinkling eyes and in the case of the women (and some men unfortunately) the wind effect blowing your hair into formations that would make Pocahontas jealous. Who wouldn't want that kind of person working for them?
The same can be said for Facebook and other such social networking sites. Your profile pic is what makes or breaks you, especially if you're the type of person looking to meet people online. Don't have a good pic of yourself? No worries - a little sepia effect here, a little cropping there, a little blur effect around there, and voila! You're a movie star. It's also not so common knowledge that companies search for potential candidates names over these sites. So if you send in a crystal clear super glossy high class resume, with bells on, you probably might lose the job if they type your name in google and come up with that profile picture of you smoking a joint at the beach.
Which is why my profile picture is a carefully engineered picture of me just after Christmas service, with the right amount of shading and a slight fading out of the background. It's terribly fake, and my certain someone thought that I had some sort of a cloud behind my head (it was a white bag that had been blurred out), but hey - I want to get hired.
And even if my resume stinks, at least I have a pretty face!
