Whatever Women Can Do, Men Can Make Funner

As I write this post, I am running through all the different ways in which I can get flamed for it. No doubt you all know that today is International Women's Day, and I'm sure, unlike me, you did not realise this via the #bootyappreciationday hashtag that was trending on Twitter today. Twitter; you got issues.

Either way, the work place is a-buzz with all the activity here, since a majority of our employees and staff are women. There are posters, banners, and motivational talks during the lunch hour. I love it. I am in fact a closet semi-feminist-on-the-weekends. Many intense conversations with several lovely and opinionated women have opened my eyes to understand that yes, maybe I was wrong about some of my assumptions before. Maybe women should be allowed to drive. How else would they get the groceries?

Now, I was curious to find out why we don't celebrate the male version of this day. Turns out, much to my surprise, there actually is an International Men's Day. But after reading its purpose, I was not enthused. Surely, shouldn't Men's Day be more, well, fun? Enter my imaginary parallel universe..

I can imagine it now. As the work day starts, men enter their work places after 11am, in shorts and t-shirts, as the dress-code is repealed for a day. Sports radio is pumped on the PA system, and TV's are installed at every cooler playing old cricket/football replays. Toilet seats in all washrooms in the office are set to the upright position. Lunch comprises of every fattening unhealthy carbohydrate filled food on the planet, along with pitchers of beer. An overhead projector is set up in the conference room to play inspirational movies such as "The Godfather", "Good Fellas" and "Rambo". Charlie Sheen is invited to speak.

Of course, the ladies are not left out of the celebration. It will be customary for men to take their spouses and/or girlfriends to dinner and dancing, but not before they have taken him to his favourite electronics and sports stores, where he can spend hours deciding between Blu-ray and 3D support,  48" inch plasma or LCD, Man U or Barcelona, trainers or basketball kicks. Also, it is customary that all stores and restaurants refuse to accept credit cards from male patrons, and furthermore, men get into clubs free for the night while women have to pay cover.

What can I say, dear readers: I have a dream.

Now, please rise for the Anthem of Manhood.

note: To you readers who think this is written in seriousness - well, sucks to be you