~The Rise of a Planet II by 'taenaron~It's been a while, hasn't it?
I haven't written a post in a long time, and I find myself struggling to start this one. I missed writing. When you write, you have time to read and review what you say, before putting it out for your audience to see. It is an advantage that I would dearly like to have with the spoken word, for I have lost count of the number of times I have spoken without intending to, or said something that ended up being taken in a way I had not intended.
There were two reasons why I stopped blogging:
1) I didn't enjoy it anymore.
My posts had turned so - gloomy - and no one likes a whiner. It was not just the content, it was also the quality. Whenever my mouse hovered over the 'publish' button, I could hear my older posts mocking my new one already. It just wasn't the same, and it somehow lacked that zing. I didn't want my blog to suddenly turn into a party-of-one-pity-party, the type I had often mocked 'back in the day'. It had to end.
2) It reminded me of how much had changed.
Perhaps the biggest reason was that I realised I was not the same person I was back when I started blogging. My blog constantly reminded me that there was a time when I was happier, and a lot less - poisonous. Had I changed so much? Had I let life's challenges rob me of my laughter, or had I been the one that decided to focus my efforts solely on survival rather than actually living?
Another reason, I suppose, was that I was increasingly distressed with what I felt was the general opinion of the blogosphere of me. This is not something I easily confess to, but honestly, due to several poor choices and bad judgement, I had perhaps built up a false persona of myself. One that was, maybe, much too close to the truth than I liked to admit.
Truth. What is the truth anyway? Is it what we say it is? Is it the general consensus, the acceptable norm? Is it a variable factor that is dependant on time, situation, place, person? If the truth is not constant, then what is?
I've learned that when people doubt you, question you or misjudge you, you only have one option, and that is to be honest. From now on, this blog will represent me as I am, whether you like what you see or not. Whether I like what I see or not.
Perhaps, the truth will set me free.
I haven't written a post in a long time, and I find myself struggling to start this one. I missed writing. When you write, you have time to read and review what you say, before putting it out for your audience to see. It is an advantage that I would dearly like to have with the spoken word, for I have lost count of the number of times I have spoken without intending to, or said something that ended up being taken in a way I had not intended.
There were two reasons why I stopped blogging:
1) I didn't enjoy it anymore.
My posts had turned so - gloomy - and no one likes a whiner. It was not just the content, it was also the quality. Whenever my mouse hovered over the 'publish' button, I could hear my older posts mocking my new one already. It just wasn't the same, and it somehow lacked that zing. I didn't want my blog to suddenly turn into a party-of-one-pity-party, the type I had often mocked 'back in the day'. It had to end.
2) It reminded me of how much had changed.
Perhaps the biggest reason was that I realised I was not the same person I was back when I started blogging. My blog constantly reminded me that there was a time when I was happier, and a lot less - poisonous. Had I changed so much? Had I let life's challenges rob me of my laughter, or had I been the one that decided to focus my efforts solely on survival rather than actually living?
Another reason, I suppose, was that I was increasingly distressed with what I felt was the general opinion of the blogosphere of me. This is not something I easily confess to, but honestly, due to several poor choices and bad judgement, I had perhaps built up a false persona of myself. One that was, maybe, much too close to the truth than I liked to admit.
Truth. What is the truth anyway? Is it what we say it is? Is it the general consensus, the acceptable norm? Is it a variable factor that is dependant on time, situation, place, person? If the truth is not constant, then what is?
I've learned that when people doubt you, question you or misjudge you, you only have one option, and that is to be honest. From now on, this blog will represent me as I am, whether you like what you see or not. Whether I like what I see or not.
Perhaps, the truth will set me free.
11 comments:
Oh Thank God! I thought I would never have the pleasure of reading something that you have written.
Welcome back!
Yes :o) Thank you for making that decision.
Hey dude, great to see you blogging again.:D
And I suppose the hardest question when blogging is if your writing of yourself or for others. Very difficult to pick the former. :D
Peace
Cheers.
Just write. There are somethings that won't change or stop regardless of any force, and one of them happens to be people's tongues.
Write what you want,when you want and however you want to.
oh and welcome back G :)
Ooooooh, you're back! Yay!
Welcome back!! :-)
I think writing is something you do for yourself as much as for your readers- so it doesn't matter if you're going through a whiny phase. Atleast you're being real.
I think anonymity helps in that aspect though. Whenever I write as the real me, I suddenly feel self conscious.
Do the 30 days of Truth challenge!
I'm pleased you decided to come back. To be fair - I think you put too much pressure on yourself. You write to be heard and if people don't like what they hear, they can sod off! No one forces people to listen! :)
yaay the dark night is back.
know what you mean. :)
good to see you again, welcome back. :D
You number 2 is how I feel about life in general right now!
thank you EVERYONE for all the lovely comments :)
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